Shisui and Itachi's Mission to Protect
by Silent-Himitsu
Summary: Little Sasuke has always been easy on the eyes. But now that he's attending the Academy, Shisui and Itachi discover the re-occurrence of something horrifically familiar. [attempted fluff and semi-crack fic] [slight language][OCs involved]
1. Chapter 1

Ok so I'm going to go for fluffy cute and semi-crack. Like a Pomeranian puppy. Yeah. Enjoy?

* * *

Sasuke sat before his older brother with a bored expression, watching the older Uchiha write neatly onto the paper before him. His nose crinkled in distaste as he watch his older brother silently filling in his mission reports one after another.

"Nii-chan~" He whined softly, setting his head on the table and letting his entire body slump as he adjusted himself to see his brother from a new position. Itachi lifted the inked brush from the paper and eyed his little brother with an equally unamused expression. "Go do your homework, Otouto," he said as he once again set himself upon the dwindling pile of mission reports he had left. Sasuke lifted himself off the table to flop down on the tatami mats beneath him in annoyance. "I'm already done! What's taking you so long? You said you'd teach me how to throw multiple shuriken!"

Itachi sighed softly and set down his brush, shifting positions to glance at his irritated brother who lay on the floor. The younger's eyes reproachful glare and dissatisfied pout met his line of sight. A questioning eyebrow rose in reply as the silent conversation ensued. A few moments later, Itachi sighed and beckoned his puppy like brother over. Sasuke's fowl-reminiscent haired head rose quickly as he scrambled over to his brother's side eagerly.

Only to be met with a poke to his forehead.

"Oof! Hey! Nii-chan!"

"Sorry, Sasuke. Next time. I'm busy."

The door rattled open as Sasuke opened his mouth to protest again. Shisui stepped into the room "Hey, Itachi, Are you fin- Oh hey Sasuke, what are you doing here?" Sasuke pouted as he complained to his cousin, "Aniki won't do anything but his mission reports even though he promised he would teach me something cool today!" Shisui's eyebrow rose as he glanced at Itachi, who gave a "I-have-a-million-things-to-do-but-this-kid-is-indignant" look in reply. So Shisui did what he knew would put both brothers at ease.

"Hey Sasuke, I can't teach you anything cool today either, but want to go out and play with me? I have to go drop off some reports at Headquarters, but we can go pick up some snacks and cherry tomatoes before we head back." Sasuke's pout immediately changed into an expression of delight. "Ok! Let me tell Kaa-san!" Sasuke darted out quickly to seek out his mother.

"Thank God you came. He was about to pout me to tears. I finished some of the reports, so drop these off for me too. And could you stay for a while later too? Kaa-san wanted me to ask you to stay for dinner tonight anyway." Shisui chuckled, "And here I though Itachi had nerves of steel. Yeah, sure. I'll drop these off and stay over for dinner then. I'll go and grant you some peace now." Itachi rolled his eyes with a scoff, "Yeah. Thanks, Shisui."

* * *

Shisui entered Itachi's room to find him finishing the last report. "Oh, you're back?" Shisui nodded, "Yeah, you finished just in time. We brought back some dango. Sasuke's gone to wash his tomatoes and get us some tea." Itachi stretched as he got up to clear the floor for the three of them to lay on, "Awesome."

The door opened to reveal Sasuke holding his bowl of tomatoes as Mikoto stood behind him, holding a tray of tea and the door. "Ah, Shisui, are you staying for dinner tonight?" Shisui smiled as he reached out to take the tray from his aunt, "Hai. Thanks for inviting me over tonight, Auntie." Mikoto smiled in return as she handed the tray over, "Alright, don't make a mess, boys. And dinner is at 7, so don't fill up too much." She slid the door shut and left the three to their devices.

Sasuke set his precious tomatoes on the table as Shisui did the same with the dango and tea. The three of them settled around the table and sprawled out on the tatami mats. Shisui picked up a stick of dango as Itachi sipped his tea, "So Sasuke, how are you doing at the academy?"

* * *

"Boys, Dinner!"

"Hai, Kaa-san!" The two brothers chorused as Shisui also gave a yes in reply. Itachi looked over at Shisui as the three of them rose, "Go wash your hands, Otouto." The duck haired boy chirped a yes and hopped out of the room. Shisui waited until he was out of earshot before turning to his best friend, "What is it?" Itachi's expression was one of slight discomfort and worry. "I think Sasuke's got a few _fangirls _that we need to keep away." Shisui recoiled in confusion, "No. Already? If he did he would be more annoyed wouldn't he?"

"Shisui-nii, Aniki! Haiyaku!"

"Ah. We're coming!"

* * *

The following day Itachi and Shisui both sat quietly in the tree as they watched Sasuke practice in the field behind the Academy.

"He's such a good kid. Always workin' hard to meet those standards."

"Shisui...He's an Uchiha. He already exceed the standards of the regular shinobi trainees..."

Shisui scrunched his nose in distaste, "Like hell I don't know that. I meant OUR standards, you dummy."

Itachi's gaze never left his brother's small form as he darted around throwing his kunai and shuriken. His otouto was improving rather well.

"Are you sure he has those _things _stalking him already? I know he's one of us and good looking and everything, but they don't start at _that_ level _this _early."

Itachi rolled his eyes slightly, "We are brothers. If I'm an exception, he's one too. I just can't believe it had to be _this_ sort of exception. He just had to take after Kaa-san's baby face." Shisui snickered, "Jealous the younger one has the looks?" Itachi deadpanned at his best friend. "No. Because we both take after Kaa-san, he just has the much more troublesome genes."

"Pffft. Yeah righ-" Shisui cut him self short quickly.

The both of them narrowed their eyes at a familiar movement beyond their miniature Uchiha. A flash of blonde and pink hair.

"Oh snap. You were right. Those _things_ really are going after your brother."

"I'm not wrong about those things even if I wanted to be, Shisui."

"Yeah, Yeah. Quit your old man talk. You get the blondie. I've been dying to see that pink haired wonder Sasuke told us about."

* * *

So how was that start? You like? You like you review yes?

Please?

If you review I update faster. And you know I know you read this.

With pleas for reviews,

Shiroi aka Silent-Himitsu


	2. Chapter 2

**I'M BAAAAACK. HAHA! I kind of like this chapter :3 Do tell me how you find this, ok? OK! LET'S GET ON WITH THIS, UN. **

* * *

Shisui and Itachi leapt out of the trees, a pair of lean, lithe shadows that flickered in the sky. Dark hair following the motions they made. If any of the children had glanced up, they would have seen a sight to behold. The two most powerful shinobi of the times were soaring like Konoha's famed and beloved hawks above their heads, exuding a pure raw power that commanded respect.

"HEY SASUKE-TEME!"

But only for a brief moment.

Just as the two were soaring in all their glorious elegance, a loud mouth blonde intruded. A male blonde.

Shisui and Itachi looked at each other, the opening to enter was gone. And they wouldn't be able to stop in time to not blow their cover. "Shi-!" "-chi!" They kicked each other back into the trees.

* * *

"What do you want, dobe? Can't you see I'm-" a pair of thumps were heard. Sasuke's little brows furrowed,"What was-" "I'M HERE TO CHALLENGE YOU TO A RACE. AND I'M GONNA BEAT YOU LIKE A CHEF BEATS AN EGG!"

Sasuke's expression morphed from irritated to dumbfounded. "Naruto?"

"WHAT?"

"Did you just make sense?"

"OH YEAH I DI- HEY WHAT'S THAT SUPPOSED TO MEAN?!"

"What do you think it's supposed to mean, you dobe." An all-knowing smirk that graced Sasuke's face brought forth contented sighs and muffled squeals from the bushes. Sasuke vaguely wondered why the hell the bushes and trees by the practice field made such human noises and strange thumps.

Naruto's face held a scowl as the gears in his head cranked, trying to figure out what Sasuke's question had meant. A moment of silence passed. Sasuke still waiting for Naruto to even answer. Sasuke's childish face held an exasperated expression.

"Oh my god, you know what. Forget you. Your puny brain can't even process words. I'm practicing, so quit bothering me."

* * *

Itachi and Shisui both sat with their backs against their respective trees, chests heaving in relief. Shisui shot a glare at Itachi, and whisper shouted "WHAT KIND OF FREAKING TIMING IS THAT!? IS THAT THING SASUKE KNOWS A FREAKING GOD OF BAD TIMING?! WE COULD HAVE HAD THE COOLEST FREAKING ENTRANCE IF HE DIDN'T-!"

Itachi watched Shisui with a deadpan that spelled "are-you-seriously-doing-this?"

As Shisui realized that Itachi didn't care, he pouted and resorted to sulking in silence. Only for the two of them to hear another set of female child voices.

"Oh my god! That stupid Naruto! Challenging our Sasuke-kun like that!"

"Though I am surprised that he made sense this time, He's gonna die for interrupting Sasuke-kun! We'll make sure of that!"

The two shared another look. Shisui's conveying "ARE YOU SERIOUS? THERE'S MORE OF THEM?!" and Itachi's a reply of "I DIDN'T KNOW HE HAD MORE EITHER!"

The younger massaged his temples as the elder pinched the bridge of his nose. What in the bloody hells were they going to do now?

"Oh my god, you know what. Forget you. Your puny brain can't even process words. I'm practicing, so quit bothering me."

The two shared another look. Shisui immediately flailed in an un-stealthy and very un-Uchiha way, whisper shouting again. "OPPORTUNITY! ENTRANCE OPPORTUNITY! I REPEAT! OP. POR. TU. NI. TY!" But his young cousin had already leapt over to the entrance of the field, leaving Shisui to utilize his famous shunshin to catch up.

* * *

"You couldn't wait two damn seconds for me to finish?"

"What if your 'FREAKING GOD OF BAD TIMING' made another move?"

"...I hate it when you're right."

"Mhm. Smile."

Itachi and Shisui soared into the field, utilizing all their ninja grace and Uchiha looks, stunning all who saw. Which consisted of Sasuke, Naruto and _the horrid creatures that stalked and feasted upon the life force beloved, cute, and ever so baby-like Sasuke_. I mean, the fangirls.

The two had pulled out their most dangerously polite auras, one commonly reserved for the verbal battle they had to deal with at clan meetings. The difference in "breeding" so to speak, Uchiha are ever so well prepared to politeness the hell out of things, smothered the_ creatures_ in the bushes. I mean, the fangirls.

The bushes began whispering again with female child voices.

"Aniki! Shisui-nii! What are you doing here?"

Naruto's awed expression was dutifully ignored by Sasuke. Itachi's eyebrow raised a little, "Who's that behind you, Sasuke?" Sasuke's nose crinkled, "That's Naruto. He's pretty annoying."

That snapped Naruto out of his daze. "HEY! AT LEAST INTRODUCE ME PROPERLY, TEME!" He huffed and beamed at the two. "NAME'S UZUMAKI NARUTO! AND I'M GONNA BE HOKAGE! DATTEBAYO!"

Shisui leaned subtly closer to Itachi. "He is one _weird_ kid."

"...You may have been right about the god of bad timing thing." was the whispered reply Shisui got.

Itachi straightened himself out a little. "Well then, Naruto-kun, I wish you luck in that. Now, Sasuke, Shisui and I managed to find some time for you. Would you like to practice now?"

Sasuke followed Itachi's example, straightening himself out to help hold back the yell of delight, "Yes, Aniki."

Shisui smiled, eliciting a few "oh"s and "wow"s from the bushes again. "Alright, get your weapons, Sasuke. We'll use the training grounds at home."

A wave of "aw"s came from the bushes again.

"Ok. This practice field is weird anyway." Sasuke eyed the surrounding bushes and trees a little, scrunching his nose again and went to gather his things.

* * *

Shisui and Itachi stood there quietly while Naruto walked a little closer.

"..Uhm.." The blonde boy glanced up at the duo through his eyelashes and bangs. Shisui raised an eyebrow in question, portraying himself as the less threatening of the two. Shisui looked at the nervous Kyuubi jinchuriki and noted this one was immune to the aura he and Itachi exuded.

"Could..uh...couldyouhelpmealittletoo?" Itachi's eyebrow also rose.

"Speak a little clearer, couldja...?" Shisui trailed off, having already forgotten the kid's name. "Naruto." Itachi whispered. "Naruto. Right." Shisui ended rather awkwardly.

Naruto swallowed and was about to attempt when Sasuke returned.

"Ready! See ya, dobe." Sasuke chirped, a small smirk on his lips. "Bye, Naruto-kun. Sasuke, slow down." Itachi turned to walk as Sasuke darted a little ahead. Shisui looked awkwardly between the crestfallen boy and his departing cousins. Running a hand through his curls, he sighed.

"Sorry squirt, I have no idea what you said, and I can't really stay cus I've got to keep a promise with those two. So, uh.. see you whenever, alright?" He gave the poor kid a pat on the head before he shunshin-ed the hell out of there to find the brothers that ditched him.

* * *

Upon reaching the training field on the compound, Itachi sent Sasuke to set his things aside and prepare to practice.

"So what took you so long to follow after us?"

"I told you that kid is a freaking god of bad timing. You guys were leaving and he still couldn't spit out his damn question. So I had to just _leave_ him there! Good God if that gets out, I'm going to be Shisui the Kid Ditcher. THE KID DITCHER, 'tachi! THE FREAKING KID DITCHER."

"Shi-"

"WE DIDN'T EVEN COMPLETE THE FREAKING POINT OF US GOING THERE CUS OF HIM. AND NOW I'M FREAKING GOING TO BE SHISUI THE FREAKING KID DITCHER! OH MY GOD! HOW AM I GOING TO SAVE MYSELF FROM THIS NOW?! EVERYONE'S GONNA POINT AND LAUGH AND BE LIKE FORGET SHISUI OF THE SHUNSHIN HE'S A FREAKING KID DIT-"

A sharp crisp sound of a slap echoed through the field.

Sasuke paused and looked over at his brother and cousin.

"Aniki? Did you just-"

"It's ok, Sasuke. Just ignore him."

* * *

**Please do review. If you write here too, I think you know how a single review can be like a freaking touch of Jesus to a sick man. IT'S LIKE OXYGEN. IT'S LIKE MANA FROM HEAVEN. IT'S THE REASON I LIVE. (ok honestly, not the last one. I have a tiny microscopic life. so my world doesn't revolve around here. BUT YOU KNOW. it's nearly that important.)**

**and ALSO I've changed the rating. I've developed a strange notion, that Shisui curses every now and then, and since it's a semi-crack attempt. cursing is like seasoning. to me anyway. So I hope you continue to love my work? and if anyone could point out mistakes I made. I'd be very thankful.**

**Silent-Himitsu**


	3. Chapter 3

**OMG MY REVIEWERS. I LOVE YOU. THE MANA HAS BEEN RECEIVED. I OFFER TO YOU MY WORK. and to the ones who read but didn't review. WHY YOU BE SO MEAN T^T**

**please enjoy? **

Lucia-Theresa Horizon**: And yeah there's this perception of Shisui being a bit of a chill guy, he's actually pretty into peace, clan and stuff too, but i like the idea of Shisui as the looser character because Itachi as the straight man in a comedic duo is just so.. fitting?**

**and as a gift to you, the god comes back later :)**

VampirePrinssess**: Thank you :) but tell me...is it Pomeranian puppy cute?**

* * *

Shisui sat quietly on the edge of the field. His face _stung. _His stupid little genius cousin went and slapped him. His stupidly powerful little genius cousin. Settling for the fact his face was going to continue to sting, albeit very much to his displeasure, Shisui let his thoughts drift.

Then the thought of Itachi making a fierce woman due to the strength of his bitch-slap crossed his mind. It was short-lived though, as he quickly rid such a terrifying thought from his head. Itachi was a man. Well...a boy. But he was male. So...**no**.

He focused on the two brothers on the field. Such a cute set of siblings they were, Mikoto's genes definitely had to be the cause of those looks. Sasuke cheered a little as he managed two kunai at once. Itachi simply smiled at his brother as the breeze wafted through. The breeze had caught his long hair and made it flutter slightly though. The terrible thought crossed his mind again. Itachi would make a pretty woman too.

Mortified by these thoughts, Shisui twitched and shifted, refusing to think such a thing again. However, life decided to screw with him again. Sasuke made Itachi _laugh_. It was a brief short laugh, one that signals amusement to a slight degree. But Itachi laughed. And it had sounded sort of nice. Itachi's laugh was kind of like when you get a girl to think you're cute boyfriend material.

Upon that thought, Shisui decided it was time to take forceful measures to cease these processes. So he turned and smacked his forehead against the tree.

Maybe life decided to screw with him once more for the day, because when he lifted his head, Itachi's wide grin at his brother's frustrated kunai throwing attempt gave him one more thought. Itachi's grin makes the smile of that cute girl at the dango shop at that travel stop by the capital look like nothing.

And quickly, Shisui fell into a depression as he wondered **_why_**_ the bloody freaking hell he was comparing **Itachi**, of all people, **to** **a**_ **_woman_**.

* * *

Sasuke soon became exhausted as the hours passed and he finally managed a 6-in-10 tries succession rate of hitting accurately when throwing two kunai at once.

"Sasuke, we should call it a day. You've practiced long enough for today."

A disappointed pout floated to Sasuke's lips. Itachi smiled and patted his otouto's fluffy poultry shaped hair.

"Come on. Gather your things and I'll get Shisui."

A reluctant smile made it's way onto Sasuke's face.

"...Ok."

As Itachi began to turn, he caught Sasuke's puzzled expression.

"Aniki? ...I think you hit Shisui-nii too hard."

Itachi's head whipped around and was met with a strange sight.

Shisui was indeed in a very strange state. He was seated on the ground at the base of a tree, partially facing it, with his knees drawn up to his chest and his forehead pressed to the bark. The visible part of his face revealed his dark eyes wide and blank and the very cheek Itachi had so kindly graced with his ninja skill.

"Sasuke, get your things and go home. We'll catch up with you."

He heard his brother scurry off to do as told as he began to approach his cousin.

* * *

Upon reaching the catatonic Shisui, he heard snippets of Shisui's voice.

"...ditcher...kid..woman...pretty...kid...woman... god...kid...me...slap..."

Itachi remembered his otouto's words.

"Shisui?"

"..no..wrong...me..compare...woman...can't...terri ble...like...must...god...slapped...ditch..."

Itachi reached out towards Shisui worriedly.

"Shisui?"

Shisui immediately utilized his ninja reflexes, swatting away the hand and flipping to land beside the tree behind Itachi.

"Huh?" A very much confused expression made it's way onto Shisui's face as he found Itachi standing there facing him in the odd position of a half-crouch-half bent-forward-to-reach with his hand hanging in the air.

"What are you doing?"

Itachi's eyebrow rose.

"I should be asking _you_ that. You were sitting here like a mindless mental trauma victim mumbling about kids and women. Did I really hit you that hard?"

At this reminder of his lovely face's current state, Shisui glared.

"You_ bitch-slapped_ me."

Itachi's face turned sheepish.

"I didn't mean to slap you _that_ hard! You were losing your mind!"

And upon Shisui's usage of the Uchiha Ninja Glare at 45% power, Itachi sighed.

"Sorry, Shisui..."

A defiant pout made it's way onto Shisui's face. Pointing to the fading red mark of Itachi's hand on his cheek, he ground out the summary of his day.

"You_ bitch-slapped_ me_ in front of_ your little brother, _after_ you dragged me into this, _to get rid of said little brother's problem creatures **that we failed to get rid**** of**_, where I_ then_ met the kid with_ the worst_ freaking timing _possible_ in the whole damned_ universe_, and have possibly become_ a freak_ with mental issues of questionable nature with my title now possibly altered to Shisui the _KID DITCHER!__ SO** NO. **SORRY** DOESN'T CUT IT **KIDDO_."

Itachi conceded to the events of the day as to his cousin's description, knowing he was partially right and mostly just enraged. But how Shisui kept people's respect while being this undignified and childish was a mystery to Itachi. At the moment, however, he really couldn't be bothered to care. He needed to un-angry-fy his cousin. So he did the one thing he could. He used the low road.

"Shisui, I'll get Kaa-san to make you dinner and lunch tomorrow."

A silence ensued. He could practically hear the gears turn in Shisui's head.

"Tonight's dinner too?"

Itachi bit back a smile.

"Yes."

Shisui dusted himself off very slowly, knowing it would bother Itachi a bit. Finishing that menial task, he sniffed and began on the path back to the living area of the compound.

"I shall accept this offering of peace. You are forgiven."

Itachi smiled and rolled his eyes at the antics of his best friend. No matter when, where and whatever it was that happened, Shisui _always_ wanted Mikoto's homemade food.

* * *

Shisui and Itachi easily caught up with Sasuke in minutes and all walked to the home of the clan head in comfortable silence.

They watched Sasuke dart the last half of the block to the house and heard him announce his presence.

When the duo arrived, Mikoto was already at the entrance hall, helping her youngest in his attempts to maneuver his way out of his sandals and bag all at once. She smiled at them warmly, "Hello boys. Just in time for dinner. Want to join us, Shi-oh!"

Her eyes found the red on Shisui's face.

"Shisui! Your cheek! What happe-"

A chipper Sasuke piped up, a wide grin on his face.

"Aniki slapped him in the face!"

A tense silence followed. Mikoto's eyes flew over and bore into her eldest with a scalding warning.

Itachi pinched the bridge of his nose in exasperation. He had forgotten about Sasuke. His beloved otouto had yet to develop any sense of subtly or any sense as to how things would sound when phrased in certain ways. Now he would have to pacify his mother and his cousin.

Shisui could only stand there with a smile frozen on his face.

"Itachi."

The clan heir looked over to his cousin.

"I hate you right now."

* * *

**Yeah, so a tad Itachi and Shisui centric for this bit, but I felt like I should give them moments too. I feel bad for abusing Shisui's mind though xD DON'T WORRY SHISUI! I STILL LOVE YOU. IF MY READERS CONSENT I'LL FIND YOU A NICE GIRLFRIEND. [one pretty just like 'Tachi muahahahahaha -evil smile-]**

**So I feel like some might wonder if this is going to be a ItaShi or a ShiIta fic and so I'd like to state now that I won't make it a romantic fluff pairing. I'm going to keep with the canon where they are rather unusually close, and just kind of make it a questionable bromance that they have. So since Itachi's practically asexual in the entire span of his life during the manga, I'm going to leave him straight. And Shisui will also be straight because he simply didn't get more than a panel or two for us to actually know him [hence the fun with his personality traits] and I personally feel like since Itachi feels like he sense Shisui in Naruto, I'm going to include a low-level of Jiraya perv, so he would indeed need to be heterosexual.**

**And if you want, you can borrow my bromance moments and write your own ItaShi/ShiIta.**

**AND SOMEONE RECOMMEND A ITACHI/SHISUI/UCHIHA/TEAM 7 Crack fic to me? I'm all out of my literary crack.**

**you read you review yes?  
Many loves,**

**Silent-Himitsu**


	4. Chapter 4

**K this one isn't as funny as the others, but it's necessary. so do try to enjoy!**

**VampirePrinssess: Yay! POM CUTE 3 btw, have you ever seen any crossgender Ita fanart? I'm so curious! and I removed the note so that might have made reviewing hard on you 3 Sorry about that! Thanks for reviewing again! :)**

dearreviewerwho'susernameican'tputhereb/cof FF**: I'm glad you enjoyed it! As one of my only active fics, I do love this one lots, so I hope you can keep enjoying this fic!**

**Anime Ice Dragon: Haha don't worry. I'll save Shisui soon xD Itachi however, must pay for his crimes xDDD**

**Nixonfaye9: I'm glad you found it funny :P I guess I did pretty well on that note!**

* * *

Mikoto's eyes stayed on Itachi as she carefully caressed Shisui's cheek and spoke to her youngest.

"Sasuke, you said your _aniki_ slapped Shisui-kun?"

Itachi's eyes widened, knowing exactly where this was going.

"Kaa-san! It wasn-"

"Yup!"

Sasuke cut in with his adorable smile, beaming at the fresh memory of the occurrence as if he had witnessed a Jesus moment.

Itachi fought down the sudden rising need to slap his cute little brother. He was too oblivious to things for his own good.

"Shisui-nii was talking really fast about something and then Aniki went '**WHACK**' and there was this really sharp and clear sound! I was going to ask Nii-san why, but he told me to ignore it so I did!"

Shisui's frozen smile twitched a little.

Itachi could practically _feel_ Shisui's hands around his neck. _Why?_ **_Why did he have to forget to shut up his own brother?_**

Mikoto's Uchiha Ninja Glare was on in seconds of Sasuke finishing his sentence. Having it utilized on him at 75% by his own mother left Itachi feeling more than just a little lightheaded. She quickly reverted to a gentle smile. Itachi instinctively began to chant a mantra in his head.

"Sasuke, go get ready for dinner, ok?"

"Hai!"

And off scurried Itachi's beloved little brother. _Please don't leave me alone to die._

"Shisui-kun, come in and have dinner with us. After that, I'll have a look at that nasty little thing _Itachi made_ on your face."

Shisui knew Mikoto was not as happy as her smile indicated and despite his love of her food, he loved his life a tad more. And as for Itachi, he cast a quick glance over.

_Please don't leave me alone to die._

It was every man for himself. _Itachi_ forgot to shut up Sasuke and set Shisui aflame with the chance the entire clan will have heard of _**the event**_ by dawn. Shisui smiled weakly at Mikoto.

"It's ok, Auntie. I can take care of it later. I've got to-"

"Shisui, the food is getting cold."

A hesitant smile danced on Shisui's lips. _Crap. __Sasuke had better be done storytelling._

"Arigato, Mikoto-san."

And off went Itachi's dear best friend.

_I thought you forgave me. Stupid Shisui._

"Uchiha Itachi."

He swallowed a little at his mother's usage of his whole name. He was screwed.

"Hai, Kaa-sama?"

Mikoto's smile turned to saccharine poison. He was definitely screwed.

"You will be _assisting_ me in my chores for your next days off until I say otherwise. Yes?"

Itachi returned a weak, faltering half-smile, knowing exactly what his assistance would entail. Mikoto was secretly codenamed SuperWoman by many for a reason. There was no other way.

"Hai, Kaa-sama."

* * *

Fugaku's eyebrow went up as Sasuke shuffled in with Shisui behind him. The reason for his raised brow, however, was not due to the entrance of the two boys. It was due to the appearance of one and the lack of a third.

"Tadaiima, Otou-sama."

"Konbanwa, Fugaku-sama."

He nodded in acknowledgement as he faced the elder of the two, curious of the red on his cheek.

"Shisui, what happened to you?"

But before Shisui could answer, Sasuke's unusual shift drew Fugaku's attention.

"Sasuke?"

Shisui's eyes widened slightly. _No._

The child mistook his father calling his name as a request for him to tell the reason behind his cousin's new facial decoration. And with all the innocent delight and amazement in the world, a grin bloomed on Sasuke's childish features again.

"Aniki slapped Shisui-nii."

When Fugaku's head whipped sharply to stare at him in bewilderment, Shisui's frozen face couldn't even react.

He loved Sasuke. He really did.

But right now, Shisui really, _really_ wanted to just punt the boy into the Hokage Mountain.

* * *

Mikoto and Itachi stepped into the kitchen just in time to hear Sasuke declare what he witnessed like it was the main event of his day.

Itachi froze in horror. Mikoto stopped and tried to think of a way to salvage the situation.

But poor Shisui was already an immobile block on the tatami by the dinner table.

Itachi tried hesitantly.

"Shisui?"

A rapid series of blinks came from Shisui and he suddenly shot up, startling all of them. A practiced smile pasted to his face, Shisui turned to face the clan's patriarch and matriarch.

"I just remembered I left some paperwork at Headquarters, I'm afraid I can't stay for dinner tonight, Mikoto-san. Thank you very much for the offer, though. I'll take my leave now."

And ever so robotically, Shisui left.

Itachi had never wanted to shrivel up and die quite so badly.

* * *

Innocent Sasuke sat with a confused expression.

"Aniki? Didn't you say you and Shisui-nii managed to make time today? How would he have forgotten paper work?"

Fugaku's brow furrowed in confusion. _What in the bloody hell could have happened to make Itachi slap Shisui and leave Sasuke so happy he witnessed it?_

Mikoto sighed, wondering if Shisui would be alright. Her youngest really did have such a big mouth.

"Itachi, go wash and come eat."

* * *

That night held a very quiet dinner.

Mikoto noted as she watched her Uchiha men.

Sasuke was obliviously adorable as usual, enthralled by the red vegetable fruit with an identity crisis in his bowl.

Fugaku was... well... Fugaku-ing. The man was like a block of wood when it came to interactions with his sons, it only gives a nice solid thunk when you hit it.

Itachi however, looked like his poor little genius brain was fried. His motions of picking up the food from his bowl and bringing it to his mouth for digestion to begin was hardly different from the perspective of the untrained eye, but for his mother?

Itachi was out of it.

So when dinner was over, she sent delighted little Sasuke off with a second bowl of his tomatoes, and quickly captured Fugaku and Itachi.

* * *

"Fugaku, sit. Itachi, you will tell us exactly what went on today that lead to this madness of you slapping Shisui."

Itachi momentarily reverted back into Mikoto's 12 year old son.

"It wasn't like I just slapped him!"

Mikoto and Fugaku's eyebrows lifted incrementally.

Itachi groaned, rubbing at his temples desperately.

"Do you remember how Shisui, Sasuke and I took some time just to relax in my room yesterday?"

Mikoto nodded, not quite sure as to how this mattered. Fugaku, however, was being his block of wood self, just sitting like he was a decoration.

Itachi continued, "Shisui and I discovered a possibility of something in a conversation yesterday, and we confirmed it today. In the course of confirming that, we ran into a few problems, and most of those problems were unintentionally damaging to Shisui. Because of that Shisui began to freak out and so I took measures to bring him back to reality. As a direct result of those measures, I slapped him. A fact which Sasuke seems to be very delighted by."

Fugaku finally decided to speak.

"Itachi. You do realize how incredibly stupid this sounds, do you not?"

Mikoto's hand demonstrated Itachi's earlier measures on Shisui quickly.

"And what was it that you two discovered and confirmed?"

Itachi looked away, grimacing and reluctant to reveal the answer to his mother's question.

Fugaku rubbed his cheek as he supported his wife's desire to know the reason behind this whole situation.

"Sasuke has already developed a multitude of fangirls and is completely unaware of this fact."

A crow called out from somewhere on the outskirts of the compound.

* * *

**You read you review yes?**

**and just a heads up, new chapters will slow, I'm going to try working on two fics at once. Reviews help keep it from slowing too much. In case you wanted to know. hintwinkhinthinthintwink**

**BTW, uh.. dear reviewer, ff is being weird and not letting me type your username so... sorry about the space ;-;**

**Many thanks,**

**Silent-Himitsu**


	5. Chapter 5

**Tada~ another chapter! this update is a little faster than usual again.. so you reviewers know why :) and of course... Thanks for all the reviews! I'm glad you all like it so far :) Please enjoy this one too!**

_P.S. Thanks for all the love for my version of Shisui! He loves you back too, cus he only got one panel in the manga!_

* * *

Mikoto sat in a stupor.

Fugaku blinked rapidly as the gears in his head cranked.

_They were back._

Those _creatures_ were back to feast upon their baby boy and all his lovely innocence.

Itachi eyed his parents warily, remembering the hole his parents had accidentally blasted in the wall when Shisui told them of Itachi's fangirls.

Mikoto was terrifyingly silent, and a twitch had developed in her right eye. Fugaku recomposed himself, remembering his wife's protective nature. He caught his son's eye quickly upon realizing his wife was utterly silent.

"Itachi, take care of the house. We'll be back soon."

And with that, Fugaku gathered Mikoto in his arms and flew for the exit. Itachi flash-stepped to the window facing the training grounds a moment after his parents vanished.

He watched as a section of the trees by the general area of the training field furthest from the compound went missing. A moment later a violent crash was heard with a faint but livid scream.

"_THEY ARE NOT TOUCHING MY BABY! I SWEAR TO GOD IF A SINGLE HAIR IS MISPLACED ON HIS HEAD, I WILL COOK THEM FOR DINNER AND FEED THEIR FLESH TO THEIR MOTHERS!_"

Soon enough a soft orange glow emanated from that general direction. Itachi blinked. No wonder Otou-sama gave into Kaa-sama's wishes so often.

"Aniki? Kaa-san to Tou-san wa? I think someone's screaming outside."

Itachi smiled and pet his otouto's cockatoo hair.

"Kaa-san and Tou-san went out for a walk, they can see what that screaming is about. Now, Sasuke, let me explain to you the importance of being subtle and how to be subtle."

* * *

The next morning, a frazzled looking Fugaku sat at the table with his steaming cup of sencha.

Mikoto worked quietly as she packed four boxes tightly with food. Her husband would need the supplementary nutrition after all the havoc she wreaked last night. Today, he was the one fixing the training field she so graciously rearranged.

Itachi stepped into the room, light-footed and silent as usual.

"Ohayogozaimasu, Kaa-sama, Otou-sama."

She turned to smile at her son as Fugaku mumbled a soft "Ohayogozaimasu" in return.

"Ah, Itachi-kun. Ohayo!"

Itachi faced her with a small smile, before tilting his head slightly in confusion at the presence of four boxes instead of two. Mikoto noticed and gave a somewhat amused look.

"You must have promised Shisui a few meals for him to bear Sasuke's retelling."

Itachi groaned a little. He forgot. Shisui.

* * *

Shisui moaned a little as the sunlight streamed into his room. He didn't want to get up. Not after yesterday. He wanted to stay curled up in bed, nice and warm until his ridiculous little cousins stopped embarrassing him. He stuck an arm out to draw the curtains tighter and quickly retreated back into his cocoon.

Today, he would work on healing his battered self in mind and body.

**Tap.**

_No. I refuse to wake up._

**Tap.**

Shisui pulled the covers over his head. Facing the world was not an option today.

"Shisui. I know you're awake in there."

Ridiculous little cousin number one was outside his window. Shisui squeezed his eyes shut and pulled the covers tighter.

"Shisui."

He performed a familiar barrier seal sequence while tangled in his blankets. Facing the world was _not_ an option today.

"Shisui, Kaa-san sent me. I have breakfast."

He twitched. He liked Mikoto's food. He really, _really_ did. He still does. But... facing the world was **not** an option today.

"Shisui, put down the barrier and let me in. It's still cold out, I have breakfast, I also have lunch, and Kaa-san will bring you dinner tonight."

He twisted into a more comfortable position. Then again, Itachi was Itachi. Facing _Itachi_ wasn't facing _the world_.

* * *

Shisui's barrier vanished quickly after Itachi informed Shisui of his new meal plan, and with a sigh of relief he watched window slide open.

A blanket enshrouded Shisui met his line of vision as he slipped in through the window.

Itachi's sandals were politely left outside of the house, though it was strange to see sandals on Shisui's window sill. The three boxes in Itachi's hands were set neatly on Shisui's mattress as Itachi eyed the large bundle before him. Save for a set of eyes, a few strands of dark curly hair and two hands, Shisui was nothing but a lump of comforter and blankets.

Itachi blinked.

"Shisui..._What the hell are you doing?_"

A hand stretched out and pointed at the boxes that held the food, accompanied by a muffled voice,

"Hand over the food you promised."

Itachi's brows knitted together.

"No."

"'Tachi, gimme the food."

"No. You just woke up, didn't you?"

Itachi's ears received no muffle noise in reply. His nose immediately crinkled in slight disgust.

"Shisui, get the hell out of that ridiculous cocoon and go wash before you eat."

"...No. Hand me the food."

Itachi narrowed his eyes.

"Shisui, get the damned blankets off of yourself."

"No."

"You have five seconds before I rip those blankets out of your hands."

"No."

"5"

"Gimme the food."

"4"

"'Tachi I'm not a child, give me the food."

"3"

"No, Gimme the fo-"

"2, 1!"

The blankets were ripped from Shisui's hands as promised. And a very unmanly and un-Uchiha like noise emanated from Shisui.

A bruised Shisui.

Itachi blinked.

"...What the hell did you do?"

A pillow became Shisui's only remaining line of defense.

"Nothing."

"Shisui."

"Nothing!"

"Shisui."

"IwalkedintoafewthingswhenIleftyourhouse."

"HA?!"

Itachi's expression of disbelief was startling to Shisui, so uncommon it was that he made it. Shisui sighed and slowly brought his pillow down from it's defensive position.

"I walked into a few things when I was leaving."

You see, Uchiha don't commonly wear their forehead protectors while off duty and within the clan compound. So when Shisui and Itachi had gone to fetch Sasuke, they had taken off their forehead protectors as they had intended to investigate then bring Sasuke back home to train. Though the investigation part of the plan had failed, they had gone back to the compound, so the lack of forehead protection was nothing out of the ordinary.

And so Itachi decided he would put a barrier on all the objects in the compound that could be walked into to stop Shisui.

Why?

Shisui's face was decorated with not only a faint handprint, but a large bruise that lay smack in the center of his forehead and stretched to his brow in one bluish purple oblong shape.

* * *

Itachi pulled out a storage scroll immediately and poofed the food away.

"OI!"

Itachi's worried frown kept Shisui from saying more, so he resorted to looking away with a pout on his lips.

"Shisui, please go and clean yourself up. I'm going to get Rei to come here and get rid of that."

"WAIT! FOOD! I-"

And with that Itachi vanished out his window, food and all.

"If it didn't hurt to frown, I'd be frowning. Stupid Itachi, taking the food too."

Shisui paused. REI?!

* * *

**Oh no! Shisui! Rei? Who's Rei?! Where are the fangirls? Where is the madness?!**

**Don't worry everyone! the madness is a coming!**

**But I do hope you enjoyed! Also I hope you don't mind that I won't be replying to reviews as often anymore. I really would love to thank you all individually, but it takes up space that I'm sure you don't really want to scroll through to get to the actual fic :)**

**So I'd like to tell you all now. **

**Reviewers, _You are the reason why I update._**

you like you review yes?

**With love, **

**Silent-Himitsu**


	6. Chapter 6

**Ok so I'm feeling good today. and I have decided that despite the smaller response, and because this is a necessary but not too cracked up chapter, I'll throw this in early too. So I know you might feel bored now, but I PROMISE. the fun. is. a coming.**

**Please try to enjoy this chapter!**

* * *

Shisui flew off the bed in seconds. Why did Itachi have to pick Rei of all people to help salvage his dignity?! If Rei saw him like this, he wouldn't have dignity left to salvage!

Facing the world wasn't supposed to be an option today!

The curtains and windows were flung open, and Shisui had storage scrolls all over the place, frantically stuffing all his piles of work and papers into manageable sections to hide away. As soon as those were done, the piles of clothing in the corner were tossed in several directions.

In the span of ten minutes, Shisui of the Shunshin made his mess of a room presentable enough for the Hokage himself. Shisui sighed in relief, he had five more minutes to organize himself to face the one person who was like Itachi and Mikoto put together with a dash of crazy.

* * *

Shisui stepped out of his restroom, obediently freshened up as Itachi had demanded fifteen minutes ago. He sat on his neatly made bed to wait as he mussed with his hair, trying to hide his face as much as possible.

He looked up with his hair creating a nice fringe just as two familiar shadows flitted through his open windows. Itachi had returned as promised with Rei. The former teammate stood beside her former captain with a lighthearted expression, glad to see Shisui after so long.

"Shisui? Ohayo!"

Shisui looked at the smiling girl standing in his room. Running his hand through his hair again, he mumbled a reply back.

"Mhm. Ohayo."

Itachi and Rei both plopped down onto his bed beside him, comfortable from having been there before. Rei turned to face him as she reached out for his face with an amused smile dancing on her lips.

"Daijoubudesuka? 'Tachi told me you needed me to help heal something?"

Shisui dodged her hands, pursing his lips at the fact Itachi had told her of his injury, eliciting a soft laugh from the girl.

"As good as you look with your hair like that, it's not very practical for you, Shi-kun. Now let me have a look."

He gave in with a small grin, letting the cool fingers brush his hair from his face.

"So I look good like this?"

Rei's lips twitched in amusement, not granting him an answer. Shisui's grin grew but quickly vanished when he noticed Itachi being a block of wood off to the side.

"Itachi, stop doing what your father always does and set up the food you promised."

Their former teammate sniggered at Shisui's statement, making two sets of Uchiha eyes land on her briefly. Completely unfazed, she kept healing Shisui.

"Are you two still doing that?"

Itachi snorted softly as he got up to comply with Shisui's constant demand for food.

"Doing what?"

Rei's fingers made quick work of the bruises marring Shisui's rather handsome face, her silvery chakra easing the swelling and hastening the removal of discoloration. She finished and quickly jabbed Shisui in the same spot he once had the bruise. A playful grin prancing on her face as Shisui grunted and rubbed the sore spot.

"You managing to piss Shisui off somehow and then bribing him with Mikoto-san's food, only for him to start demanding it incessantly until satisfied."

Itachi smirked, taking advantage of this to poke fun at his older cousin.

"Does that ever change?"

Shisui scowled at the two as he picked up his chopsticks. Rei took hold of Shisui's pillow and hugged it close as she sat indian-style on his mattress.

"His love of your mother's cooking is probably something that won't ever change. By the way, what have you two been up to?"

Opting to ignore the two, he settled for enjoying his meal as they chatted.

* * *

Shisui observed his two closest friends as he dug into Mikoto's special-made breakfast.

Shuiro Rei. She first came into their lives after Itachi was moved into Shisui's Academy classes at age 6. Her parents had moved to Konoha in hopes of finding a better place for their child to make a living, considering how it was just after a war and the only remotely prosperous place was a shinobi village. Born to civilian parents and utterly without help in a shinobi world, she had been forced to learn on her own. At age 6, she had been sent to the Academy and not given much to live up to.

To many's surprise, she had actually gotten the information down and was able to execute advanced techniques fairly decently, and thus joined his class shortly after Itachi did. She placed third to last on the genin exam, but managed to pass and was put on the team no one else could stand to be put on. The team with two Uchiha.

He remembered ostracizing her due to the fact she was young like Itachi but no where near on par. She had been rather pathetic; incredibly weak and close to useless when she first started as a genin. But she proved her worth through hard work, and was most definitely a genius of her own right. They had gotten close in the three years they were genin. So close in fact, by now her instinctive protectiveness of them could rival Mikoto's.

Shisui finished his meal with a contented sigh, and caught the attention of the conversing pair. He noted that since he had last seen the girl, her hair had changed.

"Hey, Rei, what happened to your hair? You look so different I could barely recognize you."

Itachi remembered that he had also wanted to ask her that.

"Yeah, what did you do that for?"

Rei gave a wry smile, running a hand through her long wine red locks.

"You two active ANBU aren't the only ones having all the fun. I've been on a mission for the last two months, posing as one of those exotic specimens those crazy capital people like to buy."

The cousins couldn't help giving a small smile as they realized the type of mission she had been assigned. Infiltration missions and such were right up her alley. Rei could bluff her way into the Daimyo's inner palace if she wanted to.

"How'd it go?"

"It's not over yet, so I can't tell you much. The client sent me back to deliver information and to see what other intel has been gathered. I've got a few weeks before I have to go back though. Ah! You two busy today? I'm dying to do something interesting for a change. Capital people are so incredibly boring it could be a fatal technique."

Itachi and Shisui both smiled, remembering her hatred of the mundane politics that went on in their clan as well.

"Well, there is something we need to do, but I don't know if Shisui still wants to..."

Rei's red eyebrow lifted slightly. Shisui realized what Itachi was talking about, and proceeded to frown.

"I don't want to. He threw me to the lions and didn't even realize he did. I don't want to save your brother from those things. Especially not after yesterday!"

Rei scoffed, thinking Shisui was just over reacting.

"What do you mean? What things? It's not like Sasuke was related to those bruises on your face."

Itachi suddenly found the ceiling very interesting and Shisui suddenly became occupied with cleaning up after his breakfast.

"You're kidding me."

A series of forced coughs and uncomfortable shifts were her only reply. Rei's expression of "oh my god" didn't even scratch the surface of her disbelief.

"What happened?"

And albeit reluctantly, Rei got her answer. When she had heard the full story, Rei reminded the two exactly how similar she was to Mikoto.

"THOSE ABOMINATIONS FROM HELL ARE BACK?! I SWEAR TO GOD I WILL SELL THEM TO THOSE CAPITAL PEOPLE LIKE MEAT ON A HOOK! WHY THE HELL DO THEY KEEP COMING BACK?!"

Then she paused, and her stone faced words hit nearly as hard as Itachi's hand had.

"And what kind of idiot do you have to be to walk into a freaking lamppost _on the other side of the street_?"

* * *

**Alright, there's the answer to who Rei is! **

**I hope none of you mind me throwing in an OC. There may be a need for a few more depending on how my storyline evolves so if there are any objections to this feel free to let me know!**

**Where's the madness? **

**well it's a coming! every now and then if i feel there isn't enough, I'll do a multiple update!**

**but I mean... reviews you know... they.. they kinda...speed things up on this end... a bit... yeah... so... hm... yeah...**

**You like you review? yes? :3**

**Many thanks,**

**Silent-Himitsu!**


	7. Chapter 7

**As promised, if it wasn't enough madness I'd do a multiple update! It's a good day! and I really do hope I get a few more reviews... It's like a taste of sweet sweet life. a sip of heaven. a touch of... well yeah you get the idea... i could go on for eons. so yup it's coming. It's definitely coming. madness is but a fortnight away! [ok i have no memory as to what a fortnight's length actually is but i felt like writing that. so bear with me. it's a good day.]**

**ENJOY!**

* * *

An hour later, Rei skipped down the main street of the Uchiha compound, completely unfazed by the curious and irritated gazes of the relatives of her two best friends and former teammates. The Uchiha didn't quite like her, but she was tolerated for the fact she had ties to the clan's Head Family.

Itachi and Shisui walked along, a few steps behind, amused by the childish delight Rei exhibited for the world to see. She must have been bored out of her mind in the capital. As they got to the front gate of the Main House, Itachi's house, the trio spotted Mikoto and Sasuke at the front door.

"Ah! Mikoto-san! Sasuke-kun!"

Mikoto's eyes warmed considerably at the sight of her eldest and his comrades. Sasuke darted out to greet his older brother's friend, remembering Rei but unsure due to the change in appearance.

"Rei-chan? Ah! Hisashiburi! Genkidesuka?"

Rei giggled and pulled the 8 year old into her arms, spinning in a circle that made Sasuke laugh and brought a grin to all the faces of those who saw.

"Mhm! Genkidesu! Sasuke-kun wa?"

Rei directed a bright grin to the boy in question, though Itachi and Shisui had a vague idea of what she was setting the stage for and watched the interaction quietly with a set of minuscule smiles.

The eight year old beamed as he relished in the attention.

"I've started Academy, it's kind of boring though, cus I'm alway first."

Rei sniggered as she remembered her own Academy days with the two genius Uchiha, she cast a sly glance at her friends that Mikoto caught.

"You don't say? Why don't I walk you to Academy today? I've been meaning to go see how things have been since I was last there. Itachi-kun and Shisui-kun, wouldn't you two want to see too?"

She received two smirks in reply as Mikoto caught on.

"Ah! Sasuke-kun, why don't you let them? Rei-chan hasn't seen the Academy in years!_ You wouldn't want her to get lost_, right?"

Sasuke grinned, feeling important.

"Ok!"

Itachi leaned over to Shisui, muttering under his breath.

"I feel like I'm seeing double. They're too alike for my own good."

Shisui smiled in the direction of the two women.

"You aren't the only one."

* * *

And so Shisui and Itachi found themselves trotting after a proud Sasuke and a scheming Rei.

Itachi sighed.

"I have a feeling she's planning for more than just escort duty. I'll distract my brother. Figure out what she's doing, Shisui."

Shisui's nose crinkled.

"Do you want to distract Sasuke?"

Shisui stayed silent, remembering the damage dealt the night before.

"Exactly."

So Itachi pulled up beside his brother, and Rei fell back, taking the hint.

"Rei, what are you planning?"

"To do what you failed to do."

Shisui's glare and angered huff did little to deter her.

"Blunt, aren't you?"

"You two are idiots. It's eight year old kids. Ninja tactics wouldn't work efficiently unless we wanted the next generation of ninja dead."

Shisui sniffed, feeling insulted yet again.

"Then what's_ your_ genius little plan?"

"You remember the kid has a crush on me. Those pathetic little creatures would try to take me on for that, but they couldn't take me on even if they wanted to. I'm the one receiving their target's affections, but I overpower them in all aspects. So long as I pose a threat, they shouldn't lay a hand on him."

Shisui's mouth made a slight 'o' in understanding.

"You're going to do that woman thing where you fight but don't at the same time."

Rei choked and pinched the bridge of her nose lightly.

"...Yes, Shisui. I'm going to do the woman thing."

She sighed as Shisui's face turned contemplative as he nodded philosophically like he understood.

* * *

They stepped through the gates of the Academy, Rei once again besides Sasuke as Itachi and Shisui walked behind them. It was an understatement to say Sasuke was the star of the show as he entered. He was like a_ bloody freaking lightbulb and a prince with a royal entourage_.

Sasuke Uchiha was entering his classroom with not one. Not two. But _three_ of Konoha's best.

Itachi and Shisui's typical aura of "we're good, you know it, we know it but you can brag for us" commanded respect as usual, and Rei's red hair and impeccable poise was on Mikoto's level. Thus Sasuke was today's version of royalty.

The chatter of children fell silent as they watched Sasuke get escorted into the classroom. The awed silence of everyone in the room only served to heighten the sense of awesome that radiated from the group. Until a familiar voice was heard.

"OI SASUKE!"

Shisui quickly and subtly placed himself so that Sasuke, Itachi and Rei were between him and the little blonde boy. Itachi glanced back at him slightly, sharing the same thought.

_**The god of bad timing was back.**_

Rei noted Shisui's movements and made the deduction that this was the so called "god of bad timing".

Sasuke's irritated expression only proved to confirm her assumption.

"What now, dobe?"

Rei cut in, regal and gloriously elegant for someone in ninja garb.

"Sasuke-kun? Daredeshou? A friend?"

Sasuke directed a slight smile at her, in plain view of the little monstrosities, eliciting a bunch of little contented sighs and squeaks. Just like she had wanted.

"No, he's just someone who keeps coming to bothering me."

The blonde boy stomped his foot angrily, embarrassed by Sasuke's description of him to such a pretty girl.

"OI, DIDN'T I TELL YOU TO INTRODUCE ME PROPERLY,TEME?!"

Sasuke's eyeroll went unnoticed as the loudmouth turned to Rei.

"I'M UZUMAKI NARUTO AND I'M GONNA BE THE NEXT HOKAGE! DATTEBAYO!"

Rei chuckled, acting as if it wasn't a strange first impression at all, completely used to dealing with unexpected situations. Attacking with her heartbreak smile to keep the boy from ruining her plans, she effectively smothered the boy's thoughts and led him to la-la land.

"Good luck with that, Uzumaki-kun."

Rei put her hand on Sasuke's shoulder affectionately and lifted her eyes to examine the female reactions.

"Sasuke-kun, your sensei is Umino Iruka, right?"

She received a nod in confirmation. Iruka would show up in another minute.

"Go to your seat, ok? We have to leave soon so you can start class."

Rei straightened out as Sasuke made for the seats and Itachi and Shisui stood beside her, making a very awe inducing sight.

Naruto snapped out of his daze and realized the two males were familiar and began shouting.

"AH! YOU! YOU'RE THE GUY WHO DITC-"

Iruka stumbled in a moment later.

"Ok class! NARUTO STOP YELLI-! Rei-san! Itachi-san! Shisui-san!"

Rei smiled at the flustered teacher.

"Ah, Ohayo, Iruka-san. Sorry for intruding, we were just about to leave."

Iruka gave a warm smile to his kouhai. Deducing from the number of Uchiha in the room, they had been dropping Sasuke off.

"No! No! It's fine! How was your A-rank? Done already?"

Itachi and Shisui shared another glance, Rei totally had this planned. She giggled softly, still playing nice for the show she put on for the critters.

"It's gone well so far, it's nearly over. Anyway, we'll take our leave now, Iruka-san!"

A familiar blonde began his screaming again.

"NEH NEH! 'RUKA-SENSEI!"

Hooking her arms in the arms of Itachi and Shisui, she made her way out, calling back to Sasuke to bring the final blow.

"Sasuke-kun! Ja ne! Ganbatte!"

* * *

Iruka turned to face his students, his mood better than ever at seeing a face he rarely got the chance to see.

Upon turning though, he found the morale of his class strangely low. Many of the girls were slumped over with dark clouds above their heads, murmuring about unfair beauty, and a few of the boys were clutching at their chests, muttering about goddesses.

Iruka tilted his head and sweatdropped, utterly at a loss.

"Class?"

* * *

Once outside the building, the trio sat hidden in the tree outside Sasuke's classroom, surveying the damage of Rei's ingenious plan. Shisui shook his head.

"You. You are pure evil. Those poor boys had their first heartbreaks right there because you did your woman thing."

"'Evil'? Says '_the kid ditcher_'. Didn't you hear the little 'god' about to accuse you?"

Shisui flailed a little, hissing violently.

"I AM _NOT_ A KID DITCHER. HE'S A _FRICKEN GOD OF BAD TIMING_. YOU HEAR?! A_ GOD_ OF BAD TIMING. _A GOD_."

* * *

**So did anyone notice the red hair and Sasuke's crush?**

**hehehehe. Subtle? Hehehehe... tomato...**

**AND THE GOD OF BAD TIMING MADE A COMEBACK!**

**Sorry the god of bad timing gets such little uh.. screen? time. His time will come again later. He has bad timing anyway.**

**Also, apologies for the OC-centricness of this chapter. The madness arrives soon. don't worry.**

**I GOTCHU.**

**Many smiles,**

**Silent-Himitsu**


	8. Chapter 8

**HUZZAAAAHH~! Ok, so as I said before, the madness is a coming, and there hadn't been enough previously. Rapid updates~ I kind of like this one xD So...**

**Enjoy please! **

* * *

Itachi rolled his eyes, remembering the reason he slapped Shisui in the first place.

"You knew Iruka would ask about your mission didn't you?"

Rei stretched languidly, satisfied with the turn out of her plan, but feeling slightly bad and a little guilty about it's effectiveness.

"Yeah, he was there when I got assigned. And Shisui, it's not like I meant to shatter those poor boys' heart."

Itachi eyed her.

"But you used Sasuke's crush to your advantage."

Rei pouted, irked that Itachi and Shisui were upset with her despite her completing mission objectives.

"Don't get all 'big-brother' on me! And anyway, would you rather Sasuke get the chance to grow out of his crush on me or gamble his life with those_ things_ after him?"

Shisui cut in with his patronizing accusation, eyes narrowed and arms crossed.

"Heartbreaker."

Rei glowered, sapphire eyes narrowed venomously.

"Don't you make me get_ your_ fangirls."

Shisui sneered.

"Like you weren't one!"

Itachi watched warily as Rei's eye twitched. Why did Shisui decide to be stupid today?

"You want to _repeat_ that?"

Itachi was about to forgo his own principles of no panicking. His eyes widened and he stared at Shisui in horror.

"Like. You. Weren't. One."

* * *

Sasuke looked out his classroom window for a moment and caught sight of a dark navy blur flying out of a tree. His fluffy bird haired head tilted slightly.

That looked kinda like Shisui-nii.

Shrugging it off and deducing it to his mind playing tricks on him, he turned back to class, blissfully unaware that he just witnessed Shisui nearly dying.

* * *

"Itachi. Let go."

"No."

"Let me go."

"If you promise not to kill, seriously maim, or injure him."

Rei glowered in Itachi's firm hold, actually contemplating on whether to smack the heir for intervening or to leave this as is.

"...Fine."

Slowly Itachi released Rei, and she promptly hopped to the ground, waltzing calmly in the direction of the gates.

Itachi hopped over to where his cousin lay, twitching and wheezing.

"Why... didn't you... stop me?"

He quietly helped Shisui up as Shisui nursed his very sore jaw.

"I just stopped her from killing you."

"What about from hitting me?"

"You didn't give me the chance to."

"...You liar..."

* * *

The two cousins followed the red-headed blot a few meters ahead of them. Somewhere off in the distance, faint and muffled squeals were heard. A crow alighted on the light pole ahead of them.

Shisui eyed the walking red-head warily, wincing as he opened his mouth to test the extent in which he could use it. Itachi's brow furrowed slightly.

"Isn't Rei letting this go too easily?"

"Itachi. I have a bad feeling."

"About what?"

"I don't know I just have one."

"I think she just hit you too hard. I'll see if I can convince her to heal you."

Just as Itachi moved ahead to close the space between them and Rei, the crow called.

"Ahou~"

The ground vibrated softly. Both Uchiha shared a look of confusion.

"What the hell is that?"

Screams of desperate teenage women and pre-teen girls filled the air.

**"ITACHI-KUN!"**

**"SHISUI-KUN!"**

**"YAMEROU!"**

**"HE'S MINE!"**

**"MOVE IT YOU SLUT!"**

**"YOU MOVE, HO!"**

**"OUT OF MY WAY!"**

**"HA! OLD HAGS LIKE YOU DON'T STAND A CHANCE!"**

**"ITA-KUN~!"**

**"SHI-KUN~!"**

**. . .**

The two shared a look of horror.

**And promptly ran for their lives.**

"WHY _ME_?! YOU'RE THE ONE WHO PISSED HER OFF!"

"I WAS _POINTING OUT_ **A FACT**! IT'S NOT LIKE I WANTED TO TRY PISSING HER OFF!"

"YOU CALLED HER A_ FANGIRL_, YOU- YOU **DUMBASS**!"

"YOU CURSED! HEY! YOU-! THAT'S RUDE! I'M STILL OLDER THAN YOU!"

"KEEP RUNNING!"

They soon caught up to the red headed teammate ahead. Or so they thought.

"REI! WHY DID-"

Their obsidian eyes bugged out. Shisui let out a high pitched shriek as he dodged a heart.

"WHY THE CRAP IS SHE A WIG ON A CARDBOARD CUT OUT WITH WHEELS?!"

* * *

Sitting atop the Hokage Tower was a cackling Rei, cradling several boxes of dango and food and a few thermos of tea. She watched through the screen of her quality camera, filming the running Uchiha and their screams as they sought safety from the attacks of the "lovesick" monstrosities.

She sighed with contentment as the enraged shouts of Itachi and Shisui filtered through Konoha to her ears.

"**REIIIIIII!**"

"Ah... I missed Konoha. Capital people just don't have the right amount of crazy to make this kind of thing fun."

She watched the cloud of dust grow exponentially as the pair made their way through the village.

Eyeing the length of the video, she noted that it had been a good half hour she had filmed since the two first suspected something was wrong. Calculating quickly, she realized that they had been running for a good twenty-five minutes.

"Hm.. they haven't started begging yet. Last time they only ran for 15."

Another moment later, Shisui's exhausted scream rose from somewhere in the village.

"**REI I'M SO SORRY! SAVE ME**!"

"**'****US' YOU IDIOT COUSIN! US!**"

"**SAVE _US_ OK!? SAVE US! PLEASE I'M SORRY!**"

* * *

Rei snorted in amusment. Itachi would be just that angry.

She stopped the camera and made a clone, leaving it to guard the food and stored away her rather expensive equipment. As she shunshined towards them, she henged, returning to her original appearance temporarily. Now she would need to implement her "To pacify an angry Uchiha".

Step one. Save them.

* * *

A puff of smoke appeared before Itachi and Shisui, revealing a much more familiar visage of Rei with her coffee black hair. The two breathless Uchiha breezed by, only to be stopped and pushed off to the side, leaving a very calm and dark haired Rei in the center of the street.

An oppressive killing intent immediately blanketed the area, the shrieks of their own abominations cutting off and leading to silence.

"_Ladies. What do you think you are doing?_"_  
_

Several of the bolder ones banded together, confronting the girl before them.

"Why do we have to answer to you? Itachi-kun and Shisui-kun aren't yours! You don't have a right! Now get out of our way!"

A saccharine smile decorated Rei's face, reminding Itachi very much of his own mother. Her eyes closed, sweet smile ablaze on her face.

"You're right, they _aren't_ mine. But I_ do remember_ warning you rather _distinctly_ what entails the _reward_ I'll give you if I found you chasing these two again _the last time we met._"

Sapphire eyes opened, a crazed glint in them while a wicked grin pulled at her lips.

"And Uchiha-sama _specifically_ gave _me_ **leeway** should any of her boys be chased."

The horde backed away, fearful and well aware of the promise of pain behind those words.

The crazed sapphire blue eyes darted around, and a pink tongue flicked out to run along pearly white teeth.

"_Any one feel like collecting that reward today?_"

Terrified shrieks replaced the animal-like shrieks of desperate want from earlier, and soon the street was cleared. Shisui shuddered a little, she was always good at acting.

* * *

Rei poofed and returned to her now familiar red-headed appearance. She simply stood there, back facing the two as they came out of hiding. She turned and smiled sheepishly at the two very tired and irate Uchiha.

Itachi's Uchiha Ninja Glare was on at 60%, scathing and somewhat unnerving even to one who was mostly immune.

Step two. Run for your life.

"Hokage Tower! Last one there get to watch the food disappear!"

And she was gone.

Itachi's eye brow twitched. He didn't care if she was possibly as frightening as his mother. She had let the creatures out and sent them his way like they were her pets.

He was gone in a matter of milliseconds with a very, very angry snarl marring his pretty face.

_**"REI!"**_

Shisui chased after the two for a moment before giving up and just shunshinning the hell there.

"What the hell did_ I_ ever do to anyone to deserve this?!"

* * *

**See See! I did good right? MADNESS.**

**like in all senses of the word so far.**

**I feel so happy. I was dying to do this situation! And the madness doesn't end yet so hehehehehe :D MUAHAHAHAHA! -chokes, sputters- **

**ahem. So yes. Satisfactory?**

**You like you review? **

pretty please? with a naked Uchiha Duo on top?

Er... I mean... tortillas? oAo' ... nevermind.

**For the love of Uchiha,**

**Silent-Himtsu**


	9. Chapter 9

**TADA ANOTHER RAPID FIRE UPDATE! I'M FEELING GOOD. THANKS FOR THE REVIEWS! THE TASTE OF HEAVEN HAS BEEN IMAGINED.**

**Now I have two serious questions for all of you. I need all of you to pick in a review. It pertains to the story. **

Black OR Green?

and also

Red or Black?

**Until I have enough to determine which ones are the choice of you readers, my fic here will be stuck. These are two separate questions. So two different selections. You MAY pick black and black. Just state it clearly for me. This is very important. **

**That is the end of my announcement. Thank you. Please enjoy this chapter.**

* * *

Rei flew over the rooftops desperately, lungs heaving for oxygen as she laughed and ran at the same time. Most villagers had probably realized that she had returned, as she was the only one who was stupidly brave enough to piss off not just an Uchiha, but Uchiha Itachi. She let out a laughing scream as she caught sight of Itachi a few meters behind her.

Oh, he was livid. He was using his Sharingan this time.

"REI!"

She nearly keeled over, the tears of mirth and fear spilling down her cheeks half blinding her.

"Oh god! It hurts to breathe!"

Her slight stumble had allowed Itachi to catch up with her and in seconds she was captured by the back of her shirt, dangling like a kitten held by its scruff on one of the many roofs.

Rei squeaked breathlessly, scrabbling at Itachi's shirt to cease her dangling. Cursed height advantage!

"'Tachi! Hurry! Shi! The food! My clone can't! The dango~!"

She could feel his chest heaving under his shirt, remembering that he had been running twice the amount she had and was probably far more tired. Quickly, she forced her clone to summon them there instead.

* * *

The pair puffed into existence on the roof of the Hokage Tower, effectively beating Shisui there by only a moment.

"Oh. You caught her this time."

Itachi let her go, dropping her the two inch distance between the bottom of her feet and the floor. Rei crumpled in surprise, ending up on her knees as she gasped for air and tried to cool her flushed cheeks.

Itachi's irritated voice addressed her.

"Give me one good reason why I_ shouldn't_ call your fanboys."

Rei sat there rather confused.

"I have fanboys?"

Itachi's irritation grew exponentially with that question. The Uchiha Ninja Glare once again fired up and at half power.

Step three. Bribe with food.

"I got you guys food! I got food! And dango! Lots of it!"

Rei flapped her arms in the general direction of where she had set up their picnic, hidden away on the roof top garden that overlooked the Academy.

Obsidian eyes narrowed at her, intensifying the Uchiha Ninja Glare a good 10% as Shisui darted towards the food to confirm.

"HOLY SHIT! SHE GOT THE GOOD STUFF TOO! It's the kind from those specialty shops by the capital!"

Itachi closed his eyes, shutting off his Uchiha Ninja Glare. Exhaling his rage with a sigh as he turned to walk towards Shisui.

"Yes, you have fanboys."

Rei's scrunched her nose in mild disgust before refocusing to peer at him expectantly.

"Am I..?"

"Yes, you are also forgiven."

A grin decorated her face as she got up, trailing after Itachi towards the food.

And that ladies, is the way to pacify an angry Uchiha.

* * *

The two Uchiha sat down on the picnic blanket, relishing the cool sensation that seeped into their muscles. Itachi brought out Mikoto's lunch boxes, knowing that more food was always welcome with these two. Shisui lay back with a tired groan, popping his back before settling there.

"I don't even want to think about the paper work piling up on our desks right now. Stupid mission reports."

Itachi replied with an equally tired groan of his own.

"Don't remind me. We have to show up and get it later today."

Rei sprawled out on the picnic bench besides the blanket, grinning.

"Well I'll have you know, that paperwork is some else's job for a while."

Itachi and Shisui's eyebrows quirked in confusion.

"I put in a request for both your company. You guys are currently on a week long B-rank vacation and no paperwork is required at the end of it."

"You are paying for us to relax?"

"Nope. I called in a few favors. I know you two made ANBU a few months ago and haven't had a break since."

"But a B-rank?"

"I'm awesome, what can I say? And now, we are protecting Sasuke from the little monsters trying to eat him alive."

* * *

Sasuke walked out into the yard, following the stream of running children. He held his lunch box as he trotted to the spot he knew none of the other kids would bother him at.

Little did he know, some one had found his spot.

"OI SASUKE TEME!"

Sasuke was a good child, a tad annoying to his older brother now and then, but a good child none the less. However, when it came to this blonde boy wonder, Sasuke felt like he just _needed_ to smack him. Like Itachi did to Shisui the night before.

"What do you want, you _idiot_?"

Sasuke used his own Uchiha Ninja glare, not quite powerful enough to rival any of the others in his clan, but powerful enough to prove he had it in him.

Naruto, the oblivious blonde, shot him a confident lopsided grin.

"Bet I can beat 'cha at shuriken jutsu!"

A series of female shrieks rose from the bushes surrounding his spot.

"NARUTO! STOP DISTURBING SASUKE-KUN WHILE HE EATS HIS FOOD!"

A short moment later, Sasuke was watching the majority of the females in his class flood out of the bushes to beat the blonde.

What weird girls. Do they like bushes that much?

He shrugged and walked off, leaving the fray that had started.

* * *

"You know, I think Itachi zapped all the genius out of Mikoto-san's genes. Sasuke's pretty freaking thick-headed to not realize those things were watching him eat."

"I did not 'zap all the genius' out of my mother's genetics, thank you very much."

"Naw, I agree with Rei on this one. You must have taken up all the genius, your brother is a Class A Uchiha moron. His level of awareness is so low it actually hurts me."

"My brother is not a moron. He's foolish. ...And slightly unaware."

"'Slightly' my ass, Itachi. He wouldn't know it was Shisui if I flung him at his head."

"You are _not_ flinging **me** _anywhere!_"

"You are_ not_ flinging **anything** at _Sasuke_."

"Well _thanks_ for caring so much about me, Itachi!"

"I wasn't."

"...Sarcasm is wasted on you. I am ashamed to call you 'cousin' let alone 'best friend'."

Tuning them out, Rei watched the children intently as the two muttered behind her, literally getting in each other's faces. She watched as another blonde began following the tiny Uchiha.

_No._

"Guys. Shut up."

"You're the one who talks like you're some sort of ancient fogie!"

"I don't know how you're the older one when you act like a child!"

"Guys-"

"You're a brat, you know that?"

"Says the one who acts like a brat!"

"Guys."

The blonde girl was making passes at the mini Uchiha at this point. Chatting and scooting closer.

"You were better as a toddler! You were cute then!"

"You're just upset that you can't beat me in any of our arguments!"

"I am going to take drastic measures if you two don't quit-!"

"Is that what you think?! And I have beat you in several arguments!"

Rei's eyebrow twitched in rage. Uchiha men must be idiots in general. Stupid hot, hot-blooded Uchiha!

"You have not!"

"I have to-!"

She took hold of the back of their heads and closed the 5 inch gap between them. Effectively shutting the duo up as well as chilling them right down to the bone.

"I told you I was going to take drastic measures."

* * *

**Yes you all know what's coming don't you?**

**Don't worry it's all good. But remember the note I put at the top.**

**I do need you to help me decide as it does pertain to the story very very much.**

**BLACK OR GREEN and RED OR BLACK.**

**Two answers, double 'black' is fine, just make sure I can tell.**

**I couldn't decided a few important details for the next part of my fic and I've decided to turn to you readers.**

**Reviews are very much necessary for the continuation of these next chapters and story.**

**I'm counting on you!**

**With much sincerity and thankfulness,**

**Silent-Himitsu.**


	10. Chapter 10

**OK! HERE IT IS! THE CONTINUATION NOW THAT MINI CRISIS HAS BEEN AVERTED! ****And for those I didn't reply to.**

**Thank you very very much for the reviews and answering my seemingly random color questions. I thank you all for the love this fic has received and been receiving and am proudly announcing I HAVE MADE IT TO DOUBLE DIGITS! HALLELUJAH~! -insert angel choir here- **

**And for storyline questions, sorry but I'm keeping mum about those details! haha I know for a fact it makes the fic more fun when you can guess, so I shall let you all wonder. Every now and then I'll drop a hint xD**

** In the next chapter you shall see the fruit of your answers. Please enjoy this chapter and have fun guessing what happens!**

* * *

Forcibly held in place, the two Uchiha teens reached for their friend's arms, trying desperately to remove each other's lips from their own.

"You know, this is just plain_ incestuous_. But strangely fun to watch. I think Kakashi's rubbing off on me a bit."

A pair of Uchiha Ninja Glares on full power glinted at Rei from the corner of her captives' eyes.

"Now, as much as your glares frighten me, there is a young blonde Yanamaka trying to get a piece of Sasuke at this very moment. So let's save killing me for later and _focus_."

She let go and retreated to her perch on the bench, working on relocating the pair of children she had just been watching over.

The cousins recoiled from each other frantically, spitting and scrabbling backwards a good meter or two before swiping at their lips as they continued the argument in whisper-shouts.

"STUPID 'TACHI! YOU CUT ME!"

"I DID NOT! AND YOU LICKED ME!"

"MY LIP IS BLEEDING FROM YOU! AND I DID NOT LICK YOU!"

"WELL BLAME HER! AND YOU DID TOO LICK ME!"

Raised fist and blue eyed glare ended the argument and the cousins moved to stand by Rei, unwilling to share the blame for the fact they had made such disturbingly _close_ contact. Shisui and Itachi huffed once more before focusing on the task at hand.

Soon their eyes stopped scanning in the mass of children. _There._

The three located the pair, watching young Sasuke's adorable obliviousness.

"He's so dense it hurts me, 'Tachi. Just look at that. So blissfully ignorant."

"Shut up Shisui. He's innocent, not dense."

"Hey that's the blonde I told you to get. Where's the pink haired wonder?"

Itachi rolled his eyes. _He's like a goldfish sometimes._

"Ooh! I see the pink wonder. Dang! That's one hell of a forehead!"

Itachi let out an exasperated noise from the back of his throat. _I'm going to die from the idiocy I just made contact with._

Then the girl began to reach out in a quest to hold Sasuke's hand. And frantic whisper-shouting chaos ensued.

* * *

Rei's terrified expression said it all as she hissed, nearly falling over in her panic.

"SHIT! DO SOMETHING!"

The trio scrambled, looking for something inconspicuous to throw.

Shisui and Itachi quickly made a pact to ignore the previous invasion of personal space.

**_And they tried to do something_**.

Shisui sifted through the nearest tree, trying to locate a branch or rock. Rei did the same with other trees nearby. Itachi raked through what was on the blanket.

Soon enough one of them found something to throw, and thrown it was.

It flew through the air, thrown with precision and with the force necessary, as expected of an object launched by one of the three excellent shinobi.

_And it hit the blonde child's hand with a sticky splat._

* * *

Rei blinked, mouth agape.

Shisui's hands were buried in his curly locks of hair as his mouth hung open.

Itachi was standing before them in a "I-just-threw-something" position, right hand open and facing downward, covered in sweet powder.

Two simultaneous slaps were heard.

Rei and Shisui both face palming at the absurdity of it all. Rei's fingers were massaging her temples and Shisui simply laughed.

A mortified shriek rose from below them.

"_EW!_"

A crow flew by, calling out for her chicks.

"Ahou~ Ahou~"

Rei opened her mouth first, giving into the crazy she had missed at one point.

"A _half eaten mochi_? Really?"

Itachi blinked, finding what he did absurd as well but refused to be embarrassed.

"You said do something."

"Not throw half eaten food that proves people are here, silly little cousin."

"She said do_ something_."

"Alright. Grab Shisui and make out with him madly."

"DON'T GET ME INVOLVED!"

"_No!_ His idiocy is contagious!"

"THAT'S PLAIN RUDE. I'M NO IDIOT! I'M OLDER THAN YOU! HELL, I WAS THE GENIUS _BEFORE_ YOU!"

Itachi gave his cousin an incredulous stare of "are-you-seriously-saying-that".

Rei's slender eyebrow flew up. Amused, she let a teasing grin tugging at her lips again.

"But why oppose so strongly? You're already "infected". You two kissed once; using tongue should be nothing now."

At this two full power Uchiha Ninja Glares bore into her.

Child voices were heard again.

"WHERE DID THAT COME FROM?! IT'S DISGUSTING!"

"EW!"

"SENSEI! INO GOT HIT BY SOME HALF EATEN MOCHI!"

Fearing for her life, she smiled sheepishly, taking her chance to escape.

"Uh.. look at that! We'd better escape now! I'll go that wa-"

Just as she turned to scramble away, Shisui caught her by the end of her jacket.

"Oh no you don't."

She whipped around to see evidence of them completely gone, and the Uchiha duo had a pair of wicked smirks pulling at their lips. They were going to get revenge.

"Eep?"

* * *

Sasuke wandered away from the shrieking horde on top of a possibly dying Naruto, absolutely bored. The girls in his class were always doing something strange.

They always gave him things but refused to share with any of their other classmates. They screamed at Naruto for talking. Even if Naruto was stupid, giving him time of day every now and then wouldn't kill them. And they really liked bushes.

He stretched his little eight-year old arms, mimicking Itachi's stretches and waiting for the satisfying pop. Yanamaka Ino walked up, smiling.

"Sasuke-kun, do you mind if I eat lunch with you?"

Sasuke deadpanned, not sure why she was flushed.

"Go ahead."

She flushed some more as she moved to follow him to a bench he had spotted. Sasuke fought the urge to roll his eyes.

_Girls here are so weird._

Suddenly, a sticky noise came from behind him. Following the noise was the sound of a girl screaming.

"_EW!_"

He turned and saw Ino standing behind him with something half eaten stuck to her hand.

Mochi? Sasuke eyed it in disgusted fascination.

"Is that half eaten mochi?"

Soon a chorus of "ew"s and other childish things were heard.

"WHERE DID THAT COME FROM?! IT'S DISGUSTING!"

"EW!"

"SENSEI! INO GOT HIT BY SOME HALF EATEN MOCHI!"

Sasuke sighed and walked away. Today was such a bothersome day. He couldn't wait until it was time to go home. Hopefully, Rei-chan would be picking him up with his aniki and Shisui-nii.

* * *

Several of the Special Jounin and off-duty ANBU watched the red head flounder around on Shisui's shoulder as they made their way through the hall of one of the many buildings in place for shinobi to report for what ever they were needed for or needed to do.

"I WAS KIDDING! NO! SHISUI PUT ME DOWN! I WAS ONLY KIDDING!"

Itachi nodded politely to the growing audience as he stuffed a mochi into Rei's mouth to stop her incessant shouting.

The duo had hog tied her and were currently searching for their method of punishment. And Rei knew exactly what, or whom they were searching for.

A familiar head of silver hair was spotted in one of several sitting areas, resting on one of the cushioned benches by the vending machines. Hatake Kakashi. The Copy Cat Ninja. Son of Konoha's White Fang. A well known ex-ANBU captain and lazy pervert.

Shisui strode over, Itachi following suit. Rei's thrashing grew more violent as she noticed the copycat, and fought to scream at him for help.

"Mmhhmhm!"

The pervert looked up from his book, seeing the trio stop before him. Shisui smile amicably, "Kakashi-san. Have you seen Gai around?"

* * *

**DUN DUN DUN!**

**ohhoho~ what is gonna happen?**

**haha I bet some of you already know what the colors meant.**

**So the results from my reviews of chapter 9 is:**

**Black**

**and **

**Red**

**I'll tell you what they meant next chapter. For now, I'll let you guys guess. MUAHAHAHA ~ like I mentioned the madness isn't over yet!**

**And for those sick of my OC, Rei, don't worry. Uchiha-centric chapters will arrive in the next few updates.**

**Once again, THANK YOU ALL for reviewing. I'm very grateful to all of you for following this concoction of madness I've brewed in my head. And I hope you can continue to enjoy it.**

**You like you review?**

**Smiling like a Class A moron,**

**Silent-Himitsu**


	11. Chapter 11

**Ok. IT. IS. HERE. TADA~ the fruit of my labor and your reviews! I hope you all like this chapter, cus I happen to really like this one too! Hehehehe~ Enjoy!**

* * *

Rei's desperate sapphire eyes bore Kakashi down as she tried to communicate to him telepathically.

"He went to the restroom to 'refresh himself for battle'. Why?"

Kakashi rolled his visible eye as he quoted the green man. A few intrigued and eavesdropping bystanders snickered at the _creative_ wording Maito Gai had.

Another agitated "mhm" rose from the hog-tied girl at Kakashi's reply. Itachi gave a miniscule smile as Shisui put her down. When she tried to wriggle away, Itachi hooked her by her restraints and sat her back on the ground at their feet.

"You'll see."

The other shinobi peered at the trio in the room trying to figure out what the two Uchiha were planning to do with their ex-teammate. They watched as she was slowly untied. Shisui poked her in the forehead, amused as she glared and chewed at the mochi stuffed in her mouth at the same time.

"Stay still, Rei-chan~ If you run, it'll only get worse."

Soon enough, Konoha's Green Beast appeared.

"KAKASHI! I AM READY TO DO BATT- oh! Shuiro-san! Uchiha-kun! er.. Uchiha-kun! What you three doing here on such a youthful day?"

Itachi watched as Rei visibly winced at the appearance of the man, already knowing something terrible was up.

Shisui grinned as he replied. This was usually the way he and Itachi returned Rei's fangirl-related pranks. _The joys of having a weirdo on hand._

"Rei-chan here wanted to do something youthful with you!"

Sapphire eyes narrowed on him, mouth still working on the mochi Itachi had shoved into her mouth.

"Oh? Why of course! Come Shuiro-san! Let us work on our spring times of youth!"

Finally managing to swallow the sweet, Rei dodged the sparkling glare of Gai's smile, trying to burn the two Uchiha with a Death Glare of Pain. She muttered venomously under her breath.

"The only springtime I'm working on is the blue and purple flowers that'll be blooming on your asses!"

Itachi and Shisui shared a look. Gai continued to obliviously stand there with his eyes closed and a delighted grin on his face, enjoying "the sounds of youthfulness". A simultaneous shout jolted the room's focus.

"GET HER!"

* * *

A furious hiss left Rei's lips as the Uchiha double teamed her. Shisui grabbed her by the shoulder and back of her jacket. Itachi's hand latching onto the back of her jacket as well.

"OH NO YOU AREN-"

But was promptly cut off when Itachi's other hand squeezed her face into a pucker and three hands propelled her towards Gai.

_No._

Absolutely not.

It hadn't worked last time and it wouldn't work now.

She would _die_ before she kissed that green abomination.

The grin on Shisui's face and the victorious smirk on Itachi's could be felt radiating from somewhere behind her range of vision.

She grabbed the one to her left and swung him in between herself and the green beast.

_HA!_

Her victim?

Shisui of the Shunshin.

As Rei flew free from his grasp, Shisui's wide eyed expression was the last thing he processed.

But...Itachi had realized too late that his cousin had been dragged into the mess.

* * *

Every single pair of eyes watched as the chaos went on, seemingly in slow motion.

Rei flew forward, face finally free from Itachi's hold, and slammed into Shisui, who in turn bowled over the unsuspecting Gai. A mess of red hair, black hair, bare limbs and green limbs slammed into a stop on the shiny tile floor by the bench on the other side of the hall.

Itachi could only stare in a mixture of fascination and incredulity at the three on the floor.

Gai was on the bottom of the pile, butt high in the air and head stuck under the space beneath the bench on the far side of the room. He was knocked out from the fact his face had taken to the floor first. A questionably tangled mess of Rei and Shisui was on top of the poor green beast.

Shisui lay sideways atop Gai's legs, his own legs lay half atop the cushioned bench and under it, Rei's right leg precariously placed between them. His head rested on Rei's left arm, pressed against the edge of the wooden coffee table. His hands were at her waist, steadying her with the help of her right hand that was pressed to the floor.

Rei herself was twisted in a uncomfortable manner to accommodate her desire to protect Shisui from cracking his skull and avoid the very round and green ass that simply _there, _her left leg somewhere further under the bench.

The questionable part of their position however, lay with the space-lacking proximity of Rei and Shisui's heads. For once, Rei's long hair was perfectly placed out of the way, allowing not just Itachi, but everyone in the room to see the newest development in their friendship.

_Rei's lips were pressed firmly to the corner of Shisui's, half on his cheek and half on his lips._

Shisui looked utterly frozen beneath the girl, eyes wide with surprise. Rei's expression was a blue eyed mirror image of his. The background of this lovely scene a bright green ass.

Silence settled over everyone, waiting for either of them to make the first move.

Rei's brain began functioning first and pink began to dust her cheeks.

She pulled away first, blinking rapidly.

"S-s-sorry. I... yeah...I'm-I'm just going to get up now. I- I have to go and uh... g-gather intel. Yeah."

She scrambled to crawl off the catatonic Uchiha, sliding her arm from beneath Shisui's head carefully, as to not damage the guy's brain physically, considering how it was_ her_ "creative" solution that lead to this.

She stood, blue eyes darting around before selecting a direction to leave in. She turned and systematically walked forward down the hall, blinking rapidly and managed to firmly walked into the door frame before exiting the building with a flustered expression.

* * *

Upon the departure of the red head, the catatonic Shisui awakened. Blinking a few times before robotically getting up, taking care to avoid the rotund rear that was simply_ there_, Shisui stood in the middle of the room and tried to make his brain come back to life. Itachi decided it would be a good idea to check on his cousin's mental health, worried the damage from the day before and today had accumulated to a dangerous point.

"Shisui?"

A terse reply was all he got.

"...I want to go home."

Itachi watched as Shisui rubbed his temples, nursing his frazzled mind before facing everyone in the room.

"You all saw_ nothing.** Understand?** _We never came in here. We never fell. And we never made any sort of contact. If I hear about this, I will find you, and next time you wake up you will have streaked through the whole nation naked."

Shisui closed his eyes and exhaled.

"I am going home."

Itachi watched as Shisui turned toward the door, remembering what happened last night and darted after him, leaving the other shinobi in stunned silence. Slowly the crowd diffused, keeping mum as all were aware of the Uchiha temper.

Kakashi closed his book, having forgotten to continue reading as the course of events caught his attention. Shaking his head as he sauntered over to the KOed green lump, he sighed.

"Crazy Uchiha."

Looking down at his rival, Kakashi found himself highly amused as Maito Gai came to.

"I feel so bad for those two, you always go commando in that thing."

Gai's eyebrows knitted together to form a unibrow catepillar.

"What happened? I just remember being hit from the side."

"I can't really tell you. It's more of you have to see it to understand. But I can tell you one thing. Your ass is probably _the most_ awkward background they could get for a kiss scene."

Gai sat in confusion on the ground.

"Huh? OH NO! I HAVE A WEDGIE! I SHALL BE BACK, KAKASHI! THIS IS MOST UNCOMFORTABLE!"

* * *

**HAHA SO YES. SHISUI YOU LUCKY MAN. TWO KISSES. ONE DAY. OOOH BOY YOU ON FIYAH!**

******Yeah I loved the idea of using Gai's ass as a background. And you know, Kakashi, the porn reader would have to comment on the kiss scene. I mean he reads porn. they have lots of scenes. but anyway...**

**I'm pretty sure most of you realized by now what Black and Green was.**

**Black is Shisui get's involved in the kiss, Green was Gai gets to scar Rei for life.**

**Black and Red... Well you'll have to see later xD**

**Hope you all enjoyed!**

**You like you review?**

**Dancing with amusement,**

**Silent-Himitsu**


	12. Chapter 12

**TADA~ another update~ yay! Ok now it's back to Main Family! The Rei tangent has ended! [for now. I threw her in the mix for a reason people. She's gotta come back eventually.]**

**So Enjoy enjoy?**

* * *

Itachi hopped back over to the Academy gates, intent on picking up his younger brother.

He had managed to get Shisui home without incident, though it was safe to say that things would be very uncomfortable for a few days. He shuddered in disgust as he remembered the liplock with his cousin. Tonight, he would be washing his face extra vigorously.

Arriving at the gates, he stood off to the side, waiting for his younger brother to exit. Sasuke would probably be disappointed by the lack of two others, but he would be ok. He would make up for it by spending some much needed brotherly bonding time.

* * *

Sasuke walked out of the building calmly, bored as ever with the incessant squabbling the female population of his class had taken to. Stepping into the courtyard, he caught sight of his brother by the gates.

He darted over, eager to spend time with his beloved aniki.

"Aniki!"

He was greeted by a subtle smile.

"Sasuke. I have time today."

The fowl-haired boy couldn't help grinning slightly, delighted by the thought of spending time with his older brother.

"Honto?"

The chibi received a light pat on the head.

"Yatta! Rei-nee-chan to Shisui-nii wa?"

Itachi paused for a moment before replying.

"Rei had something to do and Shisui didn't feel well so he went home. It's just you and me today, otouto."

A slight pout decorated the child's face for a moment but vanished quickly, placated by the fact he still had time with his brother.

"Ikuzo. Let's head home, if you want to train, we can use the clan's training grounds."

A bright smile lit Sasuke's face as he trotted home with his older brother.

"Mhm!"

* * *

Itachi supervised his brother's training quietly, throwing in a few tips and correcting Sasuke's form every now and then.

A few hours had already passed, and it was nearing dinner time.

"Sasuke, it's late. Let's go home?"

Sasuke nodded and ran to get his weapons. Soon the siblings were walking back to the compound.

"Mhm, Aniki?"

"Nani?"

"How come the training grounds by the Academy is so different from all the ones you bring me to and the ones you use?"

Itachi furrowed his brows, not sure what his cute little brother meant.

"What do you mean?"

"Well... none of the training grounds you bring me to and use do any of the weird things the one by the Academy does!"

Itachi's eye twitched as he sighed. Maybe he should let Sasuke know about the existence of _fangirls_...

He looked down at his eight year old brother who was peering up at him with wide, innocent, and trusting eyes, looking for an answer he was sure his only older brother could give.

**...Nope.**

"I'm not sure, Sasuke. What strange things happen at that training ground?"

Itachi replied lightly, playing dumb. He could _hear_ Shisui laughing in his head. _"A genius like you. Playing dumb? PFFFFTTTT!" _

Little Sasuke scrunched his nose up, causing his brother to smile a little. Itachi could see the gears in Sasuke's head turning.

"The bushes there sigh and mumble. The trees there whisper and make weird thumps. And the posts eat my kunai!"

Itachi's brow immediately furrowed. He might need to rectify this habit of exaggeration his brother has developed.

"The posts _eat_ your kunai?"

The dark tufts of hair swayed violently as Sasuke nodded sincerely.

"Everytime I train there, I always lose a few of my shuriken and kunai. And I've never missed the posts there!"

Sasuke paused before trying to get his aniki to explain to him the mystery of the one training ground.

"Aniki, is the training ground by the Academy possessed?"

Itachi knew for a fact his brother couldn't miss those posts, as he had trained Sasuke to hit those to near perfection by the time he entered Academy. Knowing it was all the fangirls, he couldn't help being vaguely annoyed, having remembered how the female creatures had kept stealing his weaponry back in the day as well.

"I doubt it. But is that all?"

Sasuke pondered as they arrived at the front door. Itachi began to open it as Sasuke remembered something.

"Ah! Sometimes the stuff in my bag goes missing too! One time the shirt I ripped went missing!"

Itachi stared through the open door at his very confused mother.

"Tadaima?"

* * *

Mikoto blinked as Sasuke darted in, squeaking a 'I'm home' with a smile on his face.

"Okari..."

Mikoto stopped her eldest in the hall, letting Sasuke vanish around the corner.

"What is this about Sasuke's shirt being ripped and missing?"

Itachi sighed.

"I'll tell you and Tou-san later. But he thinks the Academy training grounds are a mystery spot now."

Mikoto could only give a befuddled expression before shaking it off to focus on the task at hand.

"Ah! Shisui-kun wa?"

Itachi blinked. Shisui!

"He's at his house, sleeping."

"Should we call him over for dinner?"

"Uh..."

Itachi and Mikoto stood in the hall, silent. Sasuke was _still_ delighted by yesterday's events.

"...Maybe not."

Itachi nodded at his mother's decision in agreement.

"That may be for the best. I'm not sure if his mental health will be ok after all these events..."

The matriarch shot her son a confused look.

"What do you mean?"

Itachi coughed, knowing that to reveal today's course of events would simply send Shisui into a mental breakdown.

"I..uh.. can't tell you that."

"Itachi."

He twitched at his mother's tone. **Time to use the looks he inherited.** And in a moment, he was Mikoto's adorable first born son. Cute, pretty and the envy of the whole clan.

"Please?"

* * *

Mikoto sighed as her oldest son escaped her questioning and went to his room. Itachi being a genius was terrible sometimes. He knew for a fact he had inherited the looks that could melt hearts. And he knew how to use it on his own mother.

Mikoto pouted slightly as she walked into the kitchen, passing her husband who just entered from another doorway.

Fugaku's eyebrow rose, not expecting to see his wife pouting of all things.

"What is it?"

He asked warily, not sure if it was a good pout or a bad pout that was on her face. As lovely as she was like that, Fugaku was terrible at reading emotions and so he needed to ask quite often.

"Itachi used his puppy face on me."

He nearly fell over. _Itachi used his puppy face?! _Fugaku couldn't help feeling this would be another weird night. He hadn't heard of Itachi using his puppy face on Mikoto in years. Last time he used it was...

...just that long ago.

"So is that a bad thing?"

Mikoto's cheeks puffed out a little, reminding Fugaku of his second son being refused by Itachi for playing or training.

"He used the looks I gave him on me!"

Fugaku could only let his mouth hang open slightly as he deadpanned.

"Well, he might as well if he has them."

A disapproving stare from his wife shut him up.

"Just saying..."

* * *

**So I've made the parentals a little OOC, I hope none of you mind. It's just that I feel that making them a little more tangible in character works a bit better, so instead of a unfathomably cold father figure and ever regal mother like in the canon I've decided to add a little more warmth and fun. Cus..well.. It's semi-crack! I want to make Momma Uchiha and Daddy Uchiha fun too! **

**And as promised... UCHIHA-CENTRIC!**

**haha I hope you all liked this one. **

**Red hasn't been revealed yet, but you'll see soon~**

**Thanks everyone!**

**and Special thanks to VampirePrinssess! **

**You were the only one who reviewed T^T... and yes. GAI's ass :D it's quite a round green ass of a background ain't it? Glad you liked the chapter!**

**But I also feel so sad. It went from several reviews per chapter to one.**

**But for you... I SHALL WRITE!**

**Weeping rivers,**

**Silent-Himitsu**


	13. Chapter 13

**THANK YOU! THANK YOU ALL FOR REASSURING ME! OH THANK GOD! I LOVE YOU ALL! THANK YOU SO MUCH FOR THE REVIEWS!**

**Alrighty~ So, since I've screwed around with Shisui alot, and I've kind of broke him... Itachi's next. Yup that's right. Itachi. And some Sasuke, I mean. He's just too cute in this. So I hope you enjoy this one!**

* * *

Itachi walked into the kitchen only to find himself in a very awkward situation.

Why you ask? Well let us rewind a little bit.

* * *

Mikoto shot her husband a disapproving glare.

"Just saying..."

"So you are telling me that since Itachi has the looks he might as well use them on me."

"Uh... Well.. You can't blame him?"

Mikoto's disapproving gaze became more intense. And Fugaku couldn't help wondering why he ticked her off despite telling himself he needed to respect the fact his wife is Jounin and capable of all sorts of revenge. He blinked and decided it was time to rewind the clock a little. Back to the dating days.

"Can you stop glaring at me?"

Mikoto's eyebrow rose.

"Why?"

"It's the same reason I gave you fourteen years ago."

The matriarch couldn't help giving her husband an "are you serious" look. And Fugaku sighed before walking up to his wife. He curled his arm around her waist and kissed her cheek.

"I get nervous because you're so pretty."

* * *

And **THAT** was when Itachi walked in.

Fugaku blinked at his son, who blinked back at him from the doorway mouth agape.

Mikoto stared at Itachi, who gave a wide-eyed stare back with his mouth still ajar.

Silence settled over the three as they all just stared.

Fugaku removed himself from his wife, feeling very awkward. He cleared his throat, a slight tint of pink decorating him and his wife's cheeks.

"Ahem... Itachi."

They watched as their little genius tried to crank his brain back to life, obviously having short circuited since he had never directly witnessed his parents being affectionate since becoming a shinobi.

The couple watched their oldest back up.

"...I saw nothing."

And back to his room he went.

Fugaku stood beside Mikoto, pressing a hand to his mouth in thought.

"I'm not so sure Shisui's the only one mentally worn out. I have never seen him do that in my life."

Mikoto turned away, pink now gone and focused on making dinner.

"It's all your fault. No one told you to do that out of the blue."

The clan head whipped around to shoot his wife an incredulous expression.

"How is this my fault?! You pouted!"

* * *

Itachi walked down the hall, still trying to jump start his brain.

What kind of day was this supposed to be? A see everyone randomly kiss day? That's the third one today! And this was probably on par with the first one! _His **parents** were being affectionate. _Hell, his father was _flirting_ with his mother before his very eyes!

He hadn't seen that since... **Since he was 6!**

He groaned as he sank down onto his bed. He had just finished disinfecting his lips and now he had another disturbance to his peace of mind. Itachi vaguely wondered if he could wash out the image of his parents flirting from his brain.

Sasuke stumbled into Itachi's room.

"Aniki..."

He looked slightly embarrassed as he shuffled into Itachi's room.

"What is it, otouto?"

"Why are..."

Itachi couldn't help wondering what made his brother so embarrassed.

"Um..."

He watched Sasuke take a deep breath.

"Whyaregirlssoweird?"

Itachi's mouth hung open as he squinted in confusion.

"What?"

Sasuke pouted as he reiterated his question for his brother, thinking his brother was messing with him again.

"Why are girls so weird?"

Itachi's slack jawed expression remained marred with confusion.

"_Why?_"

Sasuke rubbed his nose a little as he turned to pull his backpack in from behind him in the hall.

"They put a lot of paper in my bag and it all smells funny!"

Itachi blinked.

Letters.

And sure enough, they reeked of multiple kinds of perfumes... and tomatoes?

He caught sight of some over-ripe identity crisis fruit vegetables at the bottom of the pile.

_I will never know why these things are so stupid._

He got up and took the bag from his brother.

"Did you get your homework and other things out of here or are they stuck in there with those papers?"

Sasuke scrunched his nose.

"It smells so bad I don't even _want_ to touch the stuff I had in there!"

Itachi eyed his brother's reeking backpack. His mother's assistance would be needed.

He looked down the hall towards the kitchen.

"Sasuke, go get Kaa-chan. I'll bring your bag outside so we can start cleaning."

Itachi began down the other hallway to the front door, and as he stepped out the door, he heard Sasuke yell.

"Kaa-chan! Can you- **AHHH!**"

Itachi smiled.

He loves Sasuke. He really does, _but he had to pay him back for last night somehow_.

The eldest heir focused on the task at hand.

Now about these infernal sheets of love declarations.

* * *

Shisui sat on the lid of the toilet Indian style, glaring at the sink and the bar of soap sitting innocently on edge by the cold water handle.

He was troubled.

By the one thing a guy as handsome as he should never really be too troubled about.

_Kisses._

He was troubled by two kisses.

Shisui groaned as he ran his hands through his shaggy locks. He wanted to disinfect himself of Itachi germs.

But he had gotten kissed by Rei.

_Rei._

He shouldn't even be troubled about that. She was a close friend, a teammate and a fellow protector of Konoha. It should be like kissing his sister. He should want to wash that off too!

But why couldn't he bring himself to disinfect his lips?!

He let out another frustrated noise, pulling at his inky strands. Throwing his hands up, he screamed.

"Screw it! Screw it all!"

He swung himself off the seat and turned on the faucet, dunking his head under the flowing stream. Shisui scrubbed at his face vigorously, more out of frustration than the desire to rid himself of the remnants of the kisses.

He lifted his sopping head, watching the drops of clear water run down the strands of hair floating in front of his eyes.

"I am going to shower and sleep."

Shisui squeezed his eyes shut, and repeated himself, as if to make sure he was going to stick to his plan. Grabbing the towel on the rack beside the sink, he toweled his hair and went to get his clothes. He was going to shower and sleep, damn it.

* * *

**Sorry it's a bit short this time around, I'm working on something, it's just not brewing right yet, so... WAIT FOR ME MY DEARS! Red is coming up ;P**

**Haha, yup. I pulled the flirting parents. Cus seriously, it's the weirdest thing I have ever seen. It's cute. but just...so weird. Like you just don't know how to react. So even the genius doesn't know what to do.**

**And yes, The whole point of this fic. The fangirl presences are back. In letter form of course. It's how they start, right?**

**So I hope you all enjoyed, and once again. Thank you very very very much for the reviews. I'm very relieved to know I didn't screw up and that this fic is still in good graces :)**

**So please keep reviewing to let me know how I'm doing?**

**Grateful and very happy,**

**Silent-Himitsu**


	14. Chapter 14

**LONGER UPDATE~ YAY!**

**Thanks for the reviews, everyone! And of course, thank you for reading :) **

**Now everyone has probably been wondering about RED, no? kekeke~ Well, then... Enjoy~**

* * *

Itachi set down the bag in the corner of the front courtyard. As he turned to get a pair of gloves, Sasuke came barreling into him.

"ANIKI! YOU JERK! YOU KNEW! I'LL NEVER SEE THEM THE SAME! MY EYES! YOU BIG FAT JERK!"

Tiny fists rained down onto Itachi's stomach.

"...Sasuke."

The drumming stopped.

"Nani?"

Itachi's index and middle finger jabbed Sasuke's forehead, removing Sasuke from his particularly close proximity.

"Oof! ANIKI!"

"Stop hitting me, otouto. And I'm not fat, you're nearly as heavy as I am."

"You are too, fat! And You set me up~!"

Mikoto exited the house as Sasuke whined, carrying a basket with her arsenal from the early years of Itachi. A light quirk of her lips gave away her amusement.

"Sasuke-kun. Itachi-kun. Yameroyo."

Itachi moved away as Sasuke pouted defiantly.

Their mother walked over, put on a set of gloves and flipped Sasuke's bag end up, letting the vile affections flutter out to the floor as books and scrolls landed with thuds.

Sasuke completely forgot his earlier statement as he watched on with interest as his mother prodded through the former contents with a disgusted expression. Never before had he seen such an expression on his lovely Kaa-chan's face.

He tugged at Itachi's shirt, eyes never leaving Mikoto's form and whispered.

"Aniki, why does Kaa-san look so angry at the papers?"

Itachi was momentarily confused, stumped for an answer that didn't let Sasuke catch onto the fact he had fangirls they were aware of.

"...They smell really bad, remember?"

Sasuke's face held a look of understanding, not doubting his brother for a second.

_Oh otouto, how unaware you are._

Mikoto sorted Sasuke's supplies from the accursed papers. Picking his things up, she deemed them safe enough to handle without gloves and handed them over to Itachi.

"Make sure those are untouched."

And back to examining she went.

Itachi flipped through the pages of the books and homework and found them untouched, much to his relief. He opened the scrolls and checked them over, also finding them safe. Sasuke peered at him curiously and Itachi dropped the homework, books and scrolls in his arms.

"There you go. Go do your homework, otouto. Your things haven't been touched by the smelly papers and whatever _those weird girls_ put in your bag."

Sasuke's head lolled to the side in disappointment, wishing he could have gotten away with not doing homework. Itachi rolled his eyes at his brother's expression, poking his forehead forcefully.

"Go."

The young Uchiha scurried off to do his homework, cheeks puffed up in irritation.

* * *

Fugaku walked into the hallway, bored and feeling strange after being spotted flirting with his wife by both his sons. Just then Sasuke turned the corner. Father and son froze, not sure how to react to each other.

"...Sasuke..."

"...Otou-sama..."

Silence settled over them again, neither of them taking a step forward, but neither daring to leave either. A few more moments passed, both still trying to figure out how to act around the other.

"...Um... I'm going to go do my homework."

"...Ok."

Sasuke nodded hesitantly and turned into the kitchen to go down the other hall, leaving his father in the first. Fugaku squeezed his eyes shut, regretting the whole event.

Never before had Fugaku felt so awkward with his youngest.

* * *

Itachi and Mikoto stood in the yard, staring at the scented papers.

"Did you see the tomatoes one of them stuffed in his bag?"

"I tossed it. Must have been trying to poison him."

"...I doubt that."

"...Should we read them to confirm identities of who to kill on sight?"

Itachi's eyes widened considerably as he stared at his mother in mild shock.

"_Kill_ on sight?!"

Mikoto's serious expression hinted that she was completely aware of her statement.

"Kaa-san, these are _eight year old children_."

"So?"

"They _do_ make up the next generation of kunoichi."

"We have Rei. When you or Shisui realize how nice of a girl she is, the pair of you can make lots of babies to make up for that."

"..."

Itachi gaped openly, mouth opening and closing like a fish, right eye twitching in pure unadulterated shock.

"**Kaa-san**! I-!She-! We- We're**_ twelve_**! _Where_ did that even come from?! Stop it!"

"_So?_ You _are_ twelve, now be a normal boy and start making moves on your crush. By the way, that girl we planned betrothed you to back then is turning out to be quite a brat. There is another girl I have in mind just in case, but I happen to like Rei alot as well. So try to get on her good side will you? "

Mikoto turned to see her son looking utterly lost.

"...But I'm not crushing on anyone..."

Rolling her eyes, she sighed and turned back to the topic at hand.

"_Fine_. We'll just keep them away from Sasuke. No more killing on sight. You'd think you'd be a little more crazy, since you're an Uchiha in ANBU and everything."

Itachi just continued looking like his brain needed a reboot, not sure _how_ his mother could go about this..._ topic_.

Mikoto picked up a stack of the letters and turned. Suddenly she smiled at something behind Itachi. He turned and found out exactly why his mother had brightened so suddenly. _The other topic _of their prior discussion. With a very confused expression.

"Rei-chan! Are you here for Itachi?"

She patted Itachi's shoulder.

"He's a handsome boy, no? Wouldn't he make a nice boyfriend?"

"_Kaa-san!_"

Rei's hand slackened and the bag she held dropped, cracking some sort of glassware that was in it. She ended up just standing at their courtyard entrance with an expression of absolute shock, jaw hanging and eyebrows raised. _There was no reaction available for this **at all**._

* * *

Mikoto had dragged Rei and Itachi together and left them alone in the courtyard with a giggle, telling them "have a nice time together" as she left to "go through the blasted letters from those little heathens after her baby boy".

The duo stood quietly in the yard, both feeling ever so awkward as they could hear Mikoto giggling from behind the door. Rei buried her face in her hands in a feeble attempt to soothe her embarrassment and headache. Itachi simply stood there and gave up, letting the exhaustion take him.

"...So...How much did you hear?"

"...From 'next generation'..."

Silence settled over them again.

"...I can't just restart from when we dropped off Sasuke, can I?"

"...No... but I wish we could, too."

Rei shook her head and sighed, picking up the bag she had dropped earlier.

"Well, I was going to give you, Shi and the rest of the family some of the desserts and things I brought back, but I'm pretty sure that drop broke some of the containers."

Itachi tilted his head remembering his cousin.

"Ah. I still have to give him his dinner. Oh yeah, you recovered pretty fast."

Silence met his ears.

"You just pushed aside the fact until I reminded you, didn't you?"

The bag was suddenly shoved forward.

"Here. That's for all of you. I have to go and-"

"Rei."

"-You know, sort things. Paper work. All that stuff-"

"Rei."

"-I mean, I gotta go. Like now. Now now. So take that and-"

"Rei."

"..yes?"

"The bag is leaking."

Mikoto's frustrated scoff was heard and she whisper shouted to her son.

"_Make a move already, Itachi!_"

The already uncomfortable duo shared a mental facepalm, Itachi turning to hiss in embarrassment.

"**Kaa-san!**"

The red haired child rearranged the bag, pulling out the untouched sweets from the bag filled with spilled anmitsu.

"Here, those have all the rest of the desserts. But the anmitsu's no good now."

Itachi's eyebrow rose as he took the packages.

"Anmitsu?"

"Yes. Anmitsu. I'm a ninja, I travelled fast enough to not let it spoil. Anyway, I'm going to leave before my head explodes and kills me. Mikoto-san! I'm leaving now! Oyasumi!"

Mikoto slid the door open, somewhat disappointed by the lack of romantic relationship building between the two.

"Aah. Arigato, Rei-chan! Oyasumi~"

A small backward wave and the girl vanished around the corner, obviously headed back to her house to nurse her mind.

* * *

Shisui stepped out of his bathroom, rubbing the towel over his head vigorously.

The shower had done him good, as his head was no longer pulsing to the beat of some terrible creature that infested his mind. His stomach growled in protest, demanding to be occupied.

Ah. He was owed a dinner.

He shook out his damp hair, abandoning the towel and letting it hang around his neck. Shisui did not want to deal with anymore of the troublesome things that came with his cousins.

Ramen would do.

Sauntering out to his kitchen, he began opening doors and drawers. Just as he took hold of a pot, he heard a clang of metal from outside his house.

"ACK!"

Shisui peered out his window. A very familiar head of red hair was crumpled on the ground.

Rei.

And she wasn't moving.

Shisui groaned. He really hadn't wanted to deal with this kind of situation at all for the next week. He watched the crumpled heap a little longer, hoping it'd give some sort of indication that all was alright.

Nothing happened.

"Damn it."

* * *

**Muahahahaha! Oh~ what is this? Shisui, your red headed trouble has fallen from the sky! haha I'll revealed what happened later xD**

**And now, the question of RED.**

**I made you all pick, Red or Black.**

**It was...**

**RED: Involve Itachi**

**BLACK: All yours, Shisui**

**So since Itachi's now involved, it's like one big chaotic mess of slight background romance, blunt and flirty parentals, crazy fangirls, and one obliviously innocent Sasuke.**

Though I admit, so far my OC isn't very background, I assure you that will change soon. I have really long "days" right now, so bear with me!

**Now about Mikoto's statement. [I personally know these kinds of women, it's hilarious when they aren't doing one of their "set you up" or "hint hints" to you.] So yes it's weird cus they're tweens and Shisui's practically a hormonal teenager, but they don't do anything much, it's supposed to be a background romance. If I feel like it, or I get persuaded I'll do something with this. But until then. **

**My mission is my Uchiha Duo's mission to protect. [**I DON'T CARE WHAT YOU SAY, THEY'RE MY VERSIONS OF SHISUI AND ITACHI. I'M ABDUCTING THEM FROM YOU, KISHI!**]**

**Alright, enough of me doing that. I hope you all enjoyed the chappie. Feel free to let me know your thoughts :3 [hinthintwinkwink]**

**Until next time!**

**With half-mad giggles,**

**Silent-Himitsu**


	15. Chapter 15

**Shorter update but a fun one. ahhh Uchiha fun :) Thanks for the review, VampirePrinssess! Enjoy~!**

* * *

Shisui cursed softly under his breath as he slipped on his sandals. He was too nice for his own good. He was worried and even if he wanted to, he couldn't just pretend nothing happened because he would have wound up tossing and turning all night fretting.

He slid open his door and walked out to the street, finding the redhead on the side of the street looking like she fell from the sky. Shisui crouched over the lump, determining from the welt on the side of her head that she was hit by something. He picked up the forehead protector a few feet away.

His brow furrowed in confusion upon seeing the half-undone knot. If she had her forehead protector on, how would she have been hit in the head where the forehead protector should have been?

Shisui hopped up to the top of the wall that divided his twice removed uncle's courtyard from the street. He stood there examining the tiled roofs of the many houses in the Uchiha compound. Nothing. Just the usual antenna and other contraptions one would find on a rooftop.

Shisui jumped back down, sighing. He stuffed her forehead protector into his pocket and bent over the fallen girl. Determining it was safe to move her, he scooped her up and made his way to the hospital.

* * *

Itachi and Sasuke sat at the low table of the living room, eating the sugary delicacies Rei had given to them. Mikoto had left a short while ago to deliver the dinner and treats to Shisui, leaving the two with their father.

The three Uchiha were quiet, munching away at the sweet things Mikoto had allowed. There was a sweet tooth that ran in Uchiha lineage, and Mikoto, though not immune, had the most control over it. Soon, of the allotted sugar, only Sasuke's precious box of urio was left.

Fugaku and Itachi both knew of the deliciousness that the little jellied steam cakes held, and considering where Rei had gotten them, it was one of the best qualities in the nation.

Sasuke muttered softly under his breath, completely focused on his homework. And the father and older brother duo, began their assault.

A strawberry flavored one.

A taro flavored one.

Little Sasuke reached for a piece, looking up in confusion, when he found that it was no longer in it's place.

"Huh?"

A matcha.

"Hey!"

Sasuke couldn't see them. But he knew.

A chestnut.

"Tou-san!"

A sakura.

"Aniki!"

A ramune.

"Stop!"

A peach.

"Stop it!"

A honeydew.

"They're mine!"

A grape.

"Stahp!"

An apple.

"STAHP IT!"

Only the special-made tomato flavor Rei included was left.

Sasuke lunged for it, shoving it into his mouth possessively.

"MINE!"

The box was empty.

Fugaku picked up his paperwork, sugar fix sated. Itachi got up, heading to shower so he wouldn't have to wait for Sasuke to finish playing "Kraken" later. Sasuke sat staring at the empty box.

"YOU TWO ATE ALL OF IT!"

* * *

Shisui entered the hospital with his cargo and immediately found Shizune staring at him and the girl on his back.

"What?"

Her eyes moved from his damp hair and the wet stains on the leg of her capris and the red welt on her head.

"So did you try too hard?"

"..."

Shisui glared, gritting his teeth in irritation. _What. The. Hell._

"_**No.**_ She fell onto my street out of no where. And _what_ _the hell is that supposed to mean_?"

She rolled her eyes and motioned him over to a free exam room, setting to work on the KOed girl.

"I am assuming you were being a teenage boy and acting on your affections. You probably just showered, her pant leg has something that splashed on it and she has a welt on the side of her head that looks like she might have hit a towel rack on a bathroom wall. Not only that, but I heard you two kissed today. Thus my reason for assuming you were trying to make a move."

Shisui burned Shizune's skull with his glare.

"1. I am 14 going on 15 and I am _not_ going to be making moves on a 12 year old like some creepy pervert. 2. She is my _teammate_. 3. My showering had _nothing_ to do with her. I have_ nothing_ to do with the stuff that splashed onto her. 4. I have_ no idea_ what she was hit with and why. And 5. _That was never supposed to be spoken of again_. Who bleated?"

She straightened out and turned to face him.

"No need to get all _defensive_, Uchiha. I made Kakashi tell me because you and the _teammate_ here knocked Gai out and a brain damage scan was needed. And before you ask, yes, even for Gai it is still necessary."

Shizune marked down something on her clipboard and got a few things from a locked cabinet.

"Now, she's fine. A minor concussion from hitting the ground and a few bruises. Those will all heal in a few days. When she wakes up, she might need some painkillers, and we'll see if she remembers what happened. And since you're not 'some creepy pervert' you can take care of her from here. "

Patting him on the back as she handed the painkillers to him, Shizune walked out and left to finish her tasks.

Shisui scowled. He was going to kill that old man. Looking at his unconcious teammate that essentially brought half his troubles to him, his frown deepened.

"This _sucks_."

* * *

Mikoto knocked on Shisui's front door, wondering why all the lights were out.

"Shisui?"

The house remained dark and quiet.

"Shisui-kun?"

Mikoto frowned as she discovered the door was unlocked. She walked in and turned on the lights, senses heightened. She made her way through the familiar house, she had taken care of Shisui when his parents passed away, and set down the warm food.

Perhaps he is asleep, Mikoto thought. She began her short trek to Shisui's room, turning on the lights as she went.

However upon her arrival, she found Shisui's door open and room as tidy as ever, save for a stray shirt and towel.

"Shisui?"

When there was no reply once again, Mikoto frowned. Now she was somewhat worried. Shisui was essentially another son, having been Itachi's best friend for so long and under her care at several points in time. And currently, from her knowledge, he was a little under the weather and in an unknown location somewhere within the village.

The clan matriarch turned off the lights as she went back to the kitchen. She left only that light on as she left, shutting the door tight behind her. She had things to do. And now locating a wayward Uchiha was on the list. Then again, Fugaku was the head of the Police Force as well...

* * *

Upon arriving back at her house, she found herself nearly bowled over, her youngest wrapped around her middle with a whine.

"Kaa-san! They stole all my steam cake!"

Her eyebrow rose.

"Who?"

"Tou-san and Aniki! There's no way the urio could disappear like that! Only the Academy training grounds have ghosts!"

She made her way to the living room, finding her clan head sitting innocently with his paperwork.

"Dear, did you eat Sasuke's urio?"

Fugaku blinked. He wasn't going to admit anything.

"Why would I?"

The lady of the house, rolled her eyes, already knowing that she would get no straight answer to her question.

"Sasuke, go and get ready to bathe, will you?"

Sasuke looked ready to whine again.

"You can eat more tomorrow, alright?"

The protest died on his lips as he brightened and darted off with a "hai".

Turning to face her husband again, she stated one thing.

"Fugaku, please go out there and see if you can find Shisui."

"Huh? Why?"

"He wasn't home and I'm worried."

The patriarch was about to refuse, but seeing that Mikoto wasn't going to back down, he gave in. He sighed as he got up, heading for the door.

"Alright."

Itachi walked out into the living room, his hair damp from the shower he had taken not too long ago.

"Kaa-san, how was Shisui?"

Mikoto waved off his question, picking up the dreadful letters from earlier.

"He's out somewhere. Now go rest up, you'll need the energy tomorrow. I've come up with a brilliant plan to keep these heathens busy."

Mikoto tossed all the papers onto the table.

"We'll deal with them tomorrow when Sasuke's out of the house. I'm going to need you and Shisui. Sleep early."

She vanished down the hall.

Itachi stood there staring at the hall his mother just went down.

_If a man on a mission was scary, a woman with a plan was just plain frightening._

* * *

**Building up some excitement here xD This one wasn't too exciting so I'm putting it up earlier. So...**

**Prepare yourselves. The madness is acoming...**

**MUAHAHAHA- -chokes, sputters, cough- I need to stop doing that. Hope you all liked this update!**

**Doing an awkward dance of delight [yeah you can imagine me being stupid if you want. it's all the same to me now...],**

**Silent-Himitsu**


End file.
